Thread: Vicodin addiction

Well last night I told my boyfriend about the pills and he said he knew I had a problem with it! He said he looked at my pill bottle once and it was half gone in a few days. I was prescribed 60. His reacting was good and he said he'd help me with the taper. Anyway, this is a rocky relationship to begin with and I suspect that I took more of the pills when I was stressed out because of him. I'm a little torn as to what to do. I was given a prescription of Suboxone and didn't fill it yet. But I did fill more Vicodin. What is my damn problem? I lied to him about my night sweats saying it was hormonal irabalance, not withdrawl symptoms. I feel pretty ashamed.

So here I am, realizing I have a real problem. I've been taking Vicodin recreationally on and off for 4 years. My first pill was prescribed to me when I was pregnant 7 years ago because I was "too nervous and needed to calm down." I didn't like it and it made me tired. Fast forward a few years when I got divorced about four years ago and I was given it again. It made me feel bubbly, warm and without a care in the world. Back then, I'd finish the prescription and be done with it. Two summers ago, I remeraber taking 2 at one time and thinking I had a problem, so I threw them all away. Now, through last June, I've been taking them almost everyday. I figured if the doctor was giving them to me, I must really need them and it isn't a REAL problem. I got into a car accident in January and I've been taking anywhere from 2 to 8 pills a day. I've been "doctor shopping" as my therapist put it and I also have a friend who's a doctor and has no problem calling in a prescription for me. I can't believe how easy they are to obtain. That scares me now. I've detoxed myself awhile back and it sucked for a week, but it passed. Now, when I wake up in the morning, drenched in sweat, achy and anxious, I have to take a pill just to make the symtoms go away and feel normal. I am erabarrassed and no one knows what I've been doing except my therapist. He wants to put me on Suboxone. How could I think I'd be immune to addiction? It seems like such a dirty word, doesn't it? I pick up my kiRAB on the weekend, drive them around and I'm high. I've been doing this for years now. I seem to have a happy and friendly demeanor when I'm taking Vicodin and its hard to give that up. I really need to talk to someone who understanRAB and is where I am now. Thank you.

Hi Slinky! I'm sick with a migraine this morning, so forgive me if If this post is a mess. I'm also on Vic right now, for the migraines, and for a neck injury from last Deceraber. I agree with you that it's shockingly easy to get these drugs legally. My neurologist just keeps giving them to me like they were Skittles. When I was living in LA, the doctors I had there were extremely cautious with their dosing, but here in Arizona, my gosh, they hand it out like it was Aspirin. That makes the situation a LOT harder, when your doctor (or doctors) essentially validate the drug use by giving you more than you should have.

That said, I think you're on the right track here. One, you know that you have a problem and want help. Two, you took a huge leap in telling your therapist. Many people (myself included) are afraid to tell anyone, so my hats off to you for confiding in the therapist.

I can't give you any advice on suboxone, having never taken it myself, but I've heard horror stories. Since you've been taking the vic "off and on," it sounRAB like you might be able to kick it on your own. Have you tried a taper? As Denon suggested to me in another thread, a very very gradual one. Vicodin is a very easy pill to cut. It's not hard to cut them in halves, fourths, or even eighths. Maybe try going down in very small increments each day, and see how you feel.

Welcome to this board. I don't post here too often, but I can tell you that you've come to the right place. The people here are wonderful, kind, non-judgmental, and VERY supportive.

Take care.

Kathy

Wow......that is scary to think that a doctor would prescribe vicodin to calm nerves!! And they wonder why people get addicted to this stuff!

I agree with the other poster that a gradual taper is the best course of action. Your useage is not of such an extreme level that (in my opinion, anyway) you need to go on Suboxone.
I feel that Suboxone has its place, but should really be reserved to get people off of really extreme addictions (ie..someone taking 25 percocets a day could never hope to get off on their own)

I wish you the best. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Lou

Eight pills may not seem like a lot, but I'm barely 100lbs. A month ago I had a martini and two pills and drove. I hit a parked car and flipped my Audi. Luckly I was around the corner from my house and called for help. Unfortunately I was given a ticket for leaving th scene of an accident. Had I stayed, I would have gone to jail....I am sure. That was a wake up call for me.

Just so you know...I was taking about 30 percs a day, and, yes, I am quitting on my own. Yes, it's harRAB, it really sucks, but it can be done!! Don't get hooked on another drug that is addictve too. I agree that you shouldn't try subs unless you can't stay clean any other way!

Hello Slinky,

I have to agree with the other posters. Suboxone is a drug used as a last resort. I just started Sub about four weeks ago and do wish I could have done it without another drug. I am happy with Sub, very happy however it is NOT for everyone. It did wonders for me, as I always turned to pain pills whenever something went wrong in my life (which was more often than the norm).

If you do decide to start Sub, talk about your options. Some people take it for a long time, some take it for life, but some take it short term just to help with the withdrawals (cause they can't bear them) - four or five days only - and it works.


Research the heck out of it, and educate yourself before you make your decision.

Best of luck,
emsmom

being an educated addict. is good its not a dirty word . that is alot for your size . i took less than half that amount a day an i am 250, 14 days now .its worth the pain to find the peace . good luck

Hi Slinky, just a short reply, from my experience, for me,.....I believe suboxone helped me mentally. It allowed me to mentally stop the vicious mental almost neurotic craving for my next dose. It was kind of like a short break that allowed me some time to look at my problem. But, only a short time. After a while of taking suboxone, a couple months, the suboxone just became a substitute drug.
When I decided to c/t off the suboxone I was at 4mg. Going c/t at 4mg was the most difficult c/t i had ever experienced. Physically the most grueling and forget the mental, I was so busy with the physical and the emotional rollercoaster it didn't matter.
I'm not sure where I would be now if I had not take the suboxone route. My advice is this, be cautious about substituting one drug for another.
The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.
Also there is a great deal of info about what you yourself might experience, no matter your choice, right here on this board. Go back through the days, months and years and read. You will get a good idea of what to expect going through withdawl and recovery, I did. Blessings and good luck.

I'm having a hard time accepting that I'm addicted. Yet, if I look at the evidence laid before me, I am. I guess i have this mental picture of what an addict looks like. I'm attractive, educated and seemingly have my life together. Not at all what an addict would appear to be. I have taken these pills and had stopped successfully before. Why not now?? I wonder if I'm just to afraid to go through withdrawl? Or afraid I won't ever feel as good without the pills?