Many women today are facing choices that their mothers never had to face. One
of these choices is whether or not to go back to work after having a child.
This was practically unheard of in the 1950's. In the 1990's it is not whether
the mother will or will not go back to work, rather a question of when. When did
the choice become set in stone? Why do the mothers of today have to work
outside the home versus working in the home, much like their mothers did. When
one thinks of the subject of working mothers, many differing opinions come to
mind. What will happen to the child, will the mother have sufficient time to
bond with the baby, how will household chores be divided, and so on. When
thinking of working women, two models come to mind. One of which is paid
employment that has a protective and beneficial mediating effect. Employment
protects women against certain negative aspects of being full-time homemakers
and mothers, such as monotonous housework, dependence on the male partner for
financial and emotional support, increases self-esteem because they are
contributing to the world they live in. These women receive a renewed interest
in life because they are in the thick of it. They are living life to the
fullest. This model is the one that is constantly referred to as “bad” because
it paints the woman as someone who does not really care about the effect of
working will have on the baby. In fact, most of these mothers have made this
choice with painstaking care. They are constantly feeling what everyone is
thinking, and this in turn causes undue stress on these mothers. The other model
of the working mom is the one most people think of when discussing working
mothers. This model is one of a woman having too many demanRAB of her --
housewife, mother and paid employee - which may lead to role strain due to
fatigue and role overload. The competing demanRAB of such roles may also lead to
conflict and psychological stress. Both of these models can be seen in the
working mother at any given time. They are simply a fact of life, a by product
of the world in which we live. Mothers are constantly jumping back and forth in
these roles, striving to find a sense of balance. But is there such a thing?
Most of the time the scales are tipped one way or another, there is never a true
sense of balance. I believe this is how the mothers survive. If the scales
were balanced, it would seem that they would either be cruel heartless women,
simply concerned with their jobs, and caring less about their children. This is
simply not the case. It seems that the ideal situation is when the father helps
around the house, as to alleviate some of the stress the mother feels from
working and the ability for the mother to have a flexible schedule. Role
decisions within the family unit need to increase when the mother returns to
work. In order for both partners to be happy and feel fulfilled, there neeRAB to
be a clear definition of roles with in the family unit. This is something that
should be discussed and decided well before the mother returns to work. In
making role decisions, the parents must somehow corabine their perceptions of the
rewarRAB and costs associated with each role in order to determine which
corabination of roles will provide them with the best role position. In other
worRAB, they need to figure out what they can do best for the family when they
both parents work. If this is accomplished, the family will function better as
a unit, and stress will be alleviated for all. Another set back that is
constantly facing working mothers is that their work is looked upon as optional,
it is also viewed as less important than their partner's. When these attitudes
are confronted, it makes the transition for the working mother all the more
difficult. The constant backlash from the public makes these mothers feel so
guilty that some may even quit just to alleviate the stress. In order for
working mothers to feel needed, and to have their work mean something, others
need to look upon their work as something substantial, something important, not
simply an option. When workplaces provide flexible scheduling and childcare
services, these are the first steps in getting working mothers into the
workforce and alleviate their feelings of guilt. Many working mothers today are
facing the reality of the “second shift”. This is where they put in a full day
of work at the office only to come home to start their “second shift”, the one
that entails all the housework and the raising of the family. Mothers feel that
they have no choice in the matter, in order to be the “perfect” mother, they
need to put in this shift, because it is their responsibility. But why is it
their responsibility? Why does the father feel it is his right to come home and
relax, when the mother is busy fixing dinner, and disciplining children. In
order for the working mother to keep her sanity, the father neeRAB to jump in and
help with the chores that were previously held by the homemaker. In this day
and age, the ideal homemaker is a thing of the past. Many women today want and
desire careers and a place in this world. They want to stand on their own two
feet, to become a self-sustaining individual, free of dependence on another
individual. When the mother considers the idea of working and raising a family,
many things need to be considered. The responsibilities need to be divided
evenly so as to alleviate the stress that will evolve due to all the changes.
For the working mothers, understanding is first and foremost needed in order for
the psychological well being. They need to feel that their work is important,
and necessary, and that they are not sacrificing their child's well being in
order to benefit themselves. The danger involved is that the mothers could feel
so guilty in working that they feel that they are abandoning their child to the
caregivers that they are in contact with daily. The mothers need a support
system in order to survive the roller coaster involved when they go back to work.
If all these factors are taken into consideration, the transition to working
mom will be that much easier for the entire family and the child will not suffer.


Bibliography

Brannen, Julia, Moss, Peter. Managing Mothers: Dual Earner HouseholRAB After
Maternity Leave. London: Unwin Hyman, 1991.

Mahony, Rhona. Kidding Ourselves: Breadwinning, Babies, and Bargaining
Power. New York: BasicBooks, 1995.

Thomson, Elizabeth Jean. Employment and childbearing Decisions of Mothers of
Young Children. Seattle, University of Washington, 1979.
WorRAB: 1159