Okay…. I’m gonna try to make this as short as I can.. I’m 17 and there is this girl I know who I've gotten a lot closer to within the last year. She’s gay and I feel I’ve been such a ***** to her because I feel like I’ve led her on.. I don’t quite know how to get myself out of it because I feel like I’m in too deep with the situation. She ALWAYS flirts with me, and I always flirt back.. when she kissed me, I kissed her back (kind of even though it was really obvious I was quite uncomfortable with the whole thing), we hold hands while in school.. I do this all very innocently without I guess realizing that I am probably hurting her a lottt.. I feel like such a c*nt for doing this… As far as a physical attraction, idk, there just ISN’T one.. I like her a lot as a person…but you can’t force physical attraction.. it just naturally has to be there. She is very physically attracted to ME, but i don't reciprocate it.
I’m not bisexual, well, I don’t think I am. I don’t think I’m completely straight though..whatever, that’s not the point. This girl wants A LOT more than I’m willing to give and I feel like I’ve LET her believe that I want a lot more too. I feel like Idk whether I like HER or the attention she gives me, or just..both. But as far as if I want to **** her, the answer is no…I don’t want to. I’d kiss and what not, but that’s as much as I do..I feel like I’m too deep into it now that idk how to break it to her that I’m just not interested in having a sexual relationship. If I was her, I would probably want nothing to do with me anymore after this... I feel like I cant even stay with her anymore without her trying to make some type of physical advance towards me. Don’t get me wrong.. I like the attention, and that’s what makes me such a *****. =/ I just feel so bad that she wants more than I am willing to give. I love her company and I enjoy being around her..but idt i want a physical relationship with her.. How can I break this to her without her wanting to kill me? Or not even wanting to be friends with me anymore cause i'd be really upset if she didnt want anything to with me anymore?