Birth Parents Should Not Be Able To Reclaim Their Child

The world is a diverse land with different races, different religions, and different politics. However, what divides the world is the disagreement about which way a child should be raised in society. More importantly, though, the thing maturing children need most is a strong family of their own. Many would believe this would impact birthparents when making the decision on whether or not to put their child up for adoption. In reality they often disregard the best interest of the child.
Because birth parents are often able to reclaim their child, adoption a child has become frightening to those interested in adopting. Ironically many children would choose to not return to their birth parents if given the chance. According to Matthew Lockley, less than five percent of all adopted children would return to their birth parents if given the opportunity. (Lockley 1995, 23) Such statistics help reinforce the belief that birth parents should not be allowed to reclaim their child once adopted. Permitting such reversals would not be considering the best interest of the child nor his or her feelings.
Laws and regulations are making readopting a child impracticable for birth parents. Advancing with technology and the rest of the world, laws referring to adoption are also continually undergoing changes. Whether these laws have a positive or negative impact on the adoption controversy, they all are causing the children confusion and pain. Older laws were abandoned because the rights given to the birth mother outweighed the birth father. Kate Burke once wrote, that in most stated, the birth mother was entitled to receive living expenses, medical care, and were able to choose and meet the adoptive parents. As for the men they weren't given any rights or say in the issues at all. (Burke 1997, 13) Chris Craig was caught explaining that the birth mother was also allowed to determine whether or not the birth father would be given the right to associate with the child. Children growing up through this were not given the environment they need so badly. If the mother chose to not allow the father to have contact with the child, he or she would grow up constantly questioning where his or her father where. They were also curious as to they were non-existent. Children felt as though his or her fathers were ashamed of them, didn't care for them, or that they were an accident making these children feel rejected. (Craig 1996, 123) In reality the birth mothers had control of the father and his relationship with the child. These laws allowed birth mothers to hide information from the child, causing them to grow up in an adopted family, with questions about their life. If laws like these still existed in the present day, adopted children would experience more unwanted pain and stress, causing them to grow up in an unstable atmosphere.
The changes made in new laws, however, are considering the children's rights (and feelings allowing them to live in a healthy environment) and showing how necessary it is that birthparents are not allowed to reclaim their child. Katie Burke wrote, new laws have made changes concerning the feelings of the adopted children. Parents must now sign a consent form to allow the adoption to take place. When signed, all parental rights and responsibilities of the birth parents end. (Burke 1997,15) Even though children may never find out that their birthparents are, they are allowed the comfort of knowing that they have a loving family. Not knowing who their birth parents are may allow some children to live an easier relaxed life. They may never know they are adopted, and can go through life believing in their adoptive parents, the ones who really care for them. It is believed to provide a "clean break" for both the child and the birth parents, relieving emotions of grief and shame. (Craig 1996, 125) With this newly adopted "clean break" consent form; adoptive children once matured are still unable to discover who their birthparents are. With these laws and regulations being applied contact between birth parents and children will continue to not exist.
The difference in birth parents rights show how readopting children is considered unfair. The laws between birthparents are unequal. Within the past twenty-five years cases and laws relating to birthparents have taken a totally new perspective. Ages ago cases were much different than they are now. Until the 1970's biological fathers had no rights at all. The only way a man could establish a parental right was by marrying the child's mother, if they weren't already, and paying full support for the child. (Currie 1997, 23) Linda Burgees remerabered an unmarried man who desperately wanted custody of his child, but the mother was in favor of adoption. He was denied any say in what were to happen regarding the child's position. (Currie 1997, 23) Once these children are given up, the father did not have any say in whether the child is removed from his or her adopted family, and taken back under their parents' wings. Since many parents are unable to readopt their child they are beginning to think about what would be the best interest for the child. Women are finally allowing a boyfriend to take custody of the child, if she does not want to raise the child in today's day and age. (Roszia 1996, 75) Rationally, parents have discovered they would never be able to see their child after adoption and are beginning to understand that will benefit the child the most.
National laws are making it hard for birth parents to make important decisions, in regarRAB to their child's life, which also shows that birthparents should not be allowed to reclaim their child. National laws are not providing alternatives and are not allowing parents enough time to make these decisions together. For a father to reclaim his child from adoption he must prove that he will be an excellent parent and role model for the child. He must also prove that he has no criminal activity and can pay the child support. (Currie 1997, 31) Birth parents are only given a month in the United States to reclaim their child after they have been adopted. (Melina 1993, 41) With this one would believe they would constantly be questioning their decision, however, they do not. Making these decisions may result in an unfair decision for the child, which is why birth parents should not be allowed to reclaim their child. These laws, are putting constraints on parents where they should be, making it impractical for birth parents to ever reclaim their child.
The variation in laws and regulations causes confusion that allows birth parents to wrongly reclaim their child, when they shouldn't be allowed to. Almost no two states in the U.S. have exactly the same policies regarding adoption and birth parents. Some states give more power to the mother and very little to the father. Other states allow all rights to the mother and none to the father. Which could in many cases affect the child's feelings depending on whom he or she are with. With these different laws and policies parents are able to challenge the system and reclaim their child, when they shouldn't be. (Sifferman 1994, 24) These variations can falsely allow parents to reclaim their child.
Almost no two states have exactly the same policies regarding biological parents and adoption, which can also create confusion for the child. This is why parents should not be allowed to reclaim their child after adoption has taken place. This confusion can led children into stressful and unwanted situations, where they are being pulled between two families like a rope in tug of war. The baby Jessica case went to courts in both Iowa and Michigan, because it would be too traumatic if the child would have to be moved to her birth parents. Schmidt even married Clausen just to say that the state could not take the baby away from them. When a child has lived with loving birth parents like these two there would be no point in losing a past and switching families, such as when the legal system agreed and gave the Jessica back to her birth parents. (Currie 1997, 10) Dr. Currie remarks that this child lost all communications with the parents she had grown up with, lost the ones she loves and is now living in an awkward environment with people she doesn't know nor trust. (Currie 1997, 12) Situations similar to these prove that birth parents should not be able to pick their children out of a family and place them in their own home (it's like stealing something that is not theirs). Kelly Stifferman stated if the children's opinion were considered in all cases birth parents would not have the right to reclaim their children. Trying to relive a life that has already been lived, these parents should not be granted the right the reclaim their child. (Sifferman 1994, 33)
Depending where birth parents live, many have the opportunity to wrongly reclaim their child, and are taking advantage of it. Courts may provide different explanation rulings, regarding biological parents that can affect the reason for putting a child up for adoption. In many states like Iowa and California, birth fathers' rights are strongly considered in adoption cases. This may prevent birth parents from trying to adopt their already adopted child. Over 75 percent of all fathers would choose to keep their child if given the full opportunity. (Meyer 1995, 89) If granted this right biological fathers may be able to cut down on the nuraber of birth parents that reclaim their child, and relieve the feeling of rejection from many children.
In other states, however, the children are taken into consideration, denying the birth parents neeRAB and wants. Showing how the children's feelings are far more important that the birth parents in many cases. States with laws supporting biological parents are much weaker than states like Michigan and Nebraska where whatever is best for the child is the outcome. These states allow birth parents only five days to reclaim their child or lose their rights. (Sifferman 1994, 37) This way a child may not be torn into two from a battle of custody between two families. Birth parents should not have the right to reclaim their child when they aren't even interested in any association or relationship with them. Eighty five percent of all birth parents never want to meet or speak to their child once they've been adopted. (Burke 1997, 15) These states show how necessary it is that birth parents are not allowed to reenter their child's lives once they've given them up.
Another problem widely recognized is how slow cases move through courts, which can cause children to lose valuable lifetime. Because the child's parents change their mind and want their child back. This can show how important it is that birthparents are restricted from reclaiming their child. Courts are supposed to insure justice but it isn't for children who grow five years of age before the case is done. These birth parents that have abandoned their child now want to accept responsibility as their parents. (Burke 1997, 11) As Howard DaviRABon stresses, "The courts should be roundly condemned for a system that allows such delays and affects the children." (O'Neil 1996, 95) Throughout these long court battles, children can miss out on a little of lives little activities if they are always in a courtroom. Birth parents are responsible for the losses these children must endure over extensive court times. Even the cases that move quickly though states are still believed to take too long, causing child to suffer because of their birth parents. (Clements 1995, 286) Which shows the negative impact birth parents have on their child's lives. Which should restrain them from ever being allowed to reclaim their child.
The relationship between birth parents and their children are usually non-existent, which should forbid them to ever reclaim their children. These bonRAB usually broken at birth cause pain and suffering in future. When children mature and need information about their origins to help form a personal identity, they are unable to receive needed information, because of their birthparents. When these birth parents are needed the most, they're not there. (Clements 1995, 285) Birth parents who want to reclaim their child should not be allowed to even have any communication with the child once adoption has taken place. A parent should not be allowed to re-renter the life of their child and inflict more pain than they have already created.
Another reason birth parents should not be allowed to reclaim their children is the negative images they portray during adolescence. Adopted children would like to know that their birth families care about them and that the adoption didn't represent a rejection, which is exactly how they don't feel. Since birth parents are not allowed any future contact with their children, adopted kiRAB feel as though their parents have rejected them. (Craig 1996, 123) If children at a young age are able to experience these feelings, it is obvious that birth parents who gave up their child should not be allowed any future communication that will cause the child more pain or suffering. Another reason children do not want to return to their birth families is because children believe that their original parents represent a threat to them or to the bond they have built with their adoptive parents. (Craig 1996,125) If negative comments and ideas like these are what adopted children think of their birth parents it is painfully obvious that the children would live a much happier life without them.
The separation effects children endure makes them not want to return to their birth parents. Birth parents should not be allowed to reclaim their child after the decisions and feelings they have already experienced. Mothers feel as though it can be a sense of relief because they have arrived at the end of a difficult situation. They are also able to return to their original size and shape, as they were before the pregnancy, which means less stress. (Melina 1993, 52) These mothers are more concerned about themselves and the way they feel, than the child they have created. They are not taking the child's future into concern when they consider adoption as an alternative because raising the child would be too difficult. These birth parents only try to "steal" the child back from the adopted parents, who have cared for the child, and put forth the effort in raising them. Birth parents have no right taking away this child that adoptive parents have been eagerly raising and caring for. (Sifferman 1994, 29) This situation is typical in the controversy of whether or not birth parents should be allowed to reclaim their child. However, these adoptive parents should not have to worry. Because of this, stricter laws are needed to forbid birth parents from being able to reclaim their child.
Another reason birth parents should not be allowed to reclaim their child is because the children don't agree with it. Not only should the negative attitude of the birth parents be considered in this topic, but the feelings of the child and their opinion on the situation. Adoptive children are confused and feel insecure because their birth parents aren't involved in their life and never have been. The feel that if these parents were able to give them up in the first place why should they be given a second change, they shouldn't. Children believe that they may reject them later on in their life since they already have once before. (Miller-Havens 1993, 106) Another very big concern is that the child will feel "doubly" rejected by his or her birth parents that don't use the option to contact him or her; they agreed to give up the right when signing the adoption forms. This shows how birth parents never really cared for their child in the first place and should not be given another chance with the child's life.
Strong families are the keys to a strong United States in the twenty-first century and beyond. Without adoptive parents, birth parents would lead their children's lives in the wrong direction. Over three million people in the United States have been adopted into good and loving homes. (Currie 1997, 36) This only shows that there were over three million birth parents that weren't mature enough to take responsibility for their actions. Adoption must be protected from these birthparents. The word must go out. Adoption: It's another way of making a family, when birth parents wouldn't be there.