</p> Image by iLoveButter via Flickr

This is a David Letterman oldie that has been around the block a few times. If you’re still feeling the effects of yesterday’s turkey dinner, this one’s for you.

10. Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.

9. Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.

8. You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth’s axis.

7. Right this minute you’re laughing up pie on the carpet.

6. You decide to take a little nap and wake up in mid-July.

5. World’s fattest man sends you a telegram, warning you to “back off!”

4. CBS tells you to lose weight or else.

3. Getting off your couch requires help from the fire department.

2. Every escalator you step on immediately grinds to a halt.

1. You’re sweatin’ gravy.

Recommended: Zen to Done Productivity eBookThe Ultimate Simple Productivity System
</img>
</img> </img> </img>