Some old jokes I found in a text file in one of my old and lost-since-1996 disks .
This year's "Arrogance in Marketting" Award...
.. goes to Microsoft. On pg. 5 of the DOS 6 manual:
"Upgrading from OS/2 to MS-DOS 6"
"I STILL REMENBER MY FATHER'S LAST WORDS",.......
"DON'T , SON , THAT GUN IS LOADED !"
What's the job title for Serbian military men?
Ethnic Sanitary Engineer.
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What do you call a Bosnian woman who has been raped ten times?
Lucky.
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Why did the Georgian grow a mustache?
He wanted to look like his mother,
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What is the first thing a Georgian and his wife fight about in the morning?
Who will shave first.
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Why aren't there any Georgian paratroopers?
It's forbidden to throw garbage out of a plane.
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Why do the birds in Georgia fly around in circles?
They use one wing to cover their noses.
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Two guys were sitting on a bench, the first guy looks at the second and says
" If you went camping overnight with someone and you woke up the next morning
with vasoline all over you buns and a sore *******, would you tell any one?"
The second thinks for a minute and replies " No, no I probably would'nt!" the
first guy, with a grin from ear to ear asks "Wanna go camping?"
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Gorbachev's is longer than Bush's. Madonna doesn't have it. The
Pope has it but doesn't use much. What is it?
A surname.
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How did god make puertoricans ?
He sandblasted ******s.
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What do you get if you cross a Jew with a gypsy ?
A chain of empty stores.
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Why do Iraquians smell so bad ?
So blind people can hate them as well.
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Why wasn't jesus born in the U.S.A ?
Because god couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
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Why do Italians wear hats ?
To know which end to wipe.
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Why did god give the ******s rythm ?
Compensation because he ****ed up their hair.
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Whats the definition of a vicious circle ?
A **** with teeth.
Autumn is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change colors
and fall from the trees.
In heaven
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The police are British, the cooks are French, the lovers are Italian and it's
all run by the Germans.
In hell
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The police are French, the cooks are British, the lovers are German and it's
all run by the Italians.
A friend of mine just informed me that you can now send e-mail to President
Clinton using the address [email protected]. Of course, I was a little
skeptical, since, after all, does the President *really* have time to read all
those emails? Of course not; but nonetheless, it's real! But I still think
he can't read all those. More likely, he has some staff people reading them
over, and they send him a summary at the end of the day. Here's what a
typical encapsulation of the day's email might look like.
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Summary of Electronic Mail for [email protected]
June 2, 1993
TopicNumber
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Bosnian conflict:
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