I am a 14 year old girl in high school and about 3 weeks ago my boyfriend and I broke up after just over 6 weeks of dating because we both thought we didn't like each other any more. The breakup hasn't bothered me at all until now, we are still friends and we talk like we did before and it doesn't seem that awkward.
Why is my breakup affecting me so much now?
And when I say "Affecting me so much" i mean like staying up until 3 am crying to my friend on the phone about how I miss him and I just want him to take me back even tho I don't think I still like him!
When we ride the bus home from school and he sits across from me all I can think about is *Man, how awesome would it be if he just leaned over and kissed me right now?* (I'm not a slut, he was my first kiss and so I think about that when I think about him) and I feel really bad about it.

Why is the breakup bothering me so much now? And how can I deal with it?

Plus I have depression and anxiety which makes it extra intense. And I was sexually abused as a child (*and since everyone asks, YES, I told on the person and they got kicked out of the house*) and so I had kind of an issue with being too close to a guy but he helped me and I trusted him.