Already mentioned. I agree, though, great exchange.
From Dog of Death:
"I knew we wouldn't win."
"Then why didn't you tell the rest of us? WHY DID YOU KEEP IT A SECRET?! (to Bart) If you were 17, we'd be rich. But noooooooo, YOU had to be TEN!"
^ Er, the fault's on your end for that one, Homer.
From Homer Simpson in Kidney Trouble:
"Why didn't someone tell me what I was volunteering for? This is everybody's fault but mine."
^ This is seriously one of my favorite Homer lines of all time.
From Lost Our Lisa:
"Lisa: Dad?
Homer: Who is this?
Lisa: It's Lisa! I just called to tell you how much I love you and can I take the bus to the museum?
Homer: Museum? I don't like the sound of that... what did your mother say?
Lisa: Umm, I wasn't one hundred percent clear on that. She said something, but she was kind of in a rush to get Bart to the emergency room.
Homer: Hmmm, so you wanna take the bus, huh? I don't know, that's a pretty big decision.
Lisa: Well, if it would put your mind at ease I could take a limousine. But that would cost $200.
Homer: $200?! Ohh, isn't there any other way?
Lisa: Hmmm, I guess I could take the bus if you think that's a better idea.
Homer: Frankly, I do. I know you had your heart set on the limo but sometimes daddy's have to say no, honey. I'm afraid you're gonna have to take the bus.
Lisa: Alright.
Homer: That a girl, I love you so- (Lisa hangs up)"
^ This is a GREAT exchange. Not only does it showcase Lisa's ability to outsmart her own father, but there are little touches that make it amusing, like how Homer doesn't even react to the news that Bart went to the hospital, or that he doesn't like the sound of Lisa going to a museum, or that he doesn't even recognize his own daughter on the other end.
From Durabbell Indemnity:
"Yeah, big deal. You've got a wife- I got a rash. Who cares?"
From Homer the Smithers:
"Here are your messages:
"You have 30 minutes to move your car",
"You have 10 minutes",
"Your car has been impounded",
"Your car has been crushed into a cube",
"You have 30 minutes to move your cube".
From The Old Man and the Lisa:
"A half-ton of newspaper and all we get is seventy five cents? That won't even cover the gas I used to go to the store to buy the twine to tie up the bundles!"
"SounRAB like SOMEONE'S workin' for their CAR! Simplify, man!"
From Raging Abe Simpson:
"OUR RESIDENTS... (shoots) ARE TRYING... (shoots) TO NAP!"
From Fear of Flying:
"Lisa, the important thing is for your mother to repress what happened. Push it deep down inside her, so she'll never annoy us again."
From Monty Can't Buy Me Love:
"There's the store where I buy my yarn! But you don't want to buy your buttons there."
"Whew, well I dodged a bullet."
And from the same episode... "I was a little worried when he swallowed me, but, well, you know the rest."
^ I'm not a big fan of the Lochness scene, but I LOVE that line.
From Bart's Comet:
"I kind of figured this might happen, so I built the shelter big enough for both our families."
"No deal. Out."
^ Homer's line is delivered PERFECTLY.
From Homer Bad Man:
"Simpson scandal update: Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers."
^ So ridiculous.
From Secrets of a Successful Marriage:
"Marge, just about everything is a sin. You ever sat down and read this thing? Technically, we're not allowed to go to the bathroom."
^ I'm not sure what Bible passage he's referring to, but it's an amusing line.
From Bart Star:
"Who are we?"
"The Wildcats!"
"Who are we gonna beat?"
"The Wildcats!"
And another fave from the same episode:
"Mr. Burns? This is Homer J. Simpson, the father of the big quitter! Well, I just wanted to tell you I'm a big quitter, too! And I quit!" (winks)
"Homer, Mr. Burns can't see you winking."
"So- (screams and hangs up)"
From The Mansion Family:
"Thank you all so much. I love Springfield from cuddliest infant... (glances through speech) puppies, patriotism, bluebirRAB... pffft! I'm not reading this drivel. This speech is over."
^ Good old Burns.
From A Milhouse Divided:
"And another thing: It's only 5:30. Why are you in your underwear?"
"Hey, this ain't The Ritz."
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