Great "Simpsons" Quotes

[Laugh It Off =)]

"To be loved, you have to be nice to people, every day. But to be hated, you don't have to do squat!"

[Hesham Al-Rousan]

I think this is from one of the Bart vs Lisa episodes considering the first quote. It's one of my favorite banters between Skinner and Willie though.

Willie: Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like the English and Scots. And Irish and Scots. And Japanese and Scots. And Scots and other Scots. Damn Scots…THEY RUINED SCOTLAND!
Skinner: You Scots sound like quite a rough bunch.
Willie: You just made an enemy for life.

[biwestvirginagirl]

It's from the episode where krusty fakes his death

Bart: "Have you seen this man?" (half way blows up Krusty Balloon)
Captain McAllister: " Yar, that be HanRABome Pete. He dances for nickels"

Then Pete comes in playing sailor's horn pipe on the accordian. It kills me every time. Also love when they leave, Pete is holding is hat out for nickels.

[crazyhorse55]

Chief Wiggum.

[thorrnydevil]

I like this one from Treehouse of Horror VI:

Homer: "Don't you ever get tired of being wrong all the time?"

Marge: "Sometimes..."

It's just hilarious how she says it.

[december.rain]

Radioactive Man:

Assistant: What is it now, Quiraby?
Quiraby: Nothing, nothing. Only the, er, city has just passed another tax on puffy directing pants.
Director: But I don't wear puffy pants!
Quiraby: ...I meant a tax on not wearing puffy pants.
Assistant: Oy.
Quiraby: I'm sorry.

^ No you're not.

[Samuel L]

I loved it when Homer made that hilarious pun about "police chewtality"! Oh, and remeraber that episode where everyone was saying "lega-he" and "lega-she"? Man, I just love those quotes.

Oh wait. No I don't.

Here's a classic:

Homer: Hello. My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Clerk: Okay, Mr. Burns. What's your first name?
Homer: (pause) I don't know.

[iloveyouu]

That's kind of my catch all line for situations like that.

"What a time to be alive..."

I'm not sure if this was posted, but it's so freaking RANDOM, I can't resist posting it:

Homer: Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird" and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirRAB! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the colour of his skin... but what good does *that* do me?

^Wow, Homer. WOW.

[killer cupcake<3]

"I keep telling you ain't no hookers 'round here."
"Uh huh, and where do you keep the hookers?"
"'Round back...woooops."

I love how he was so easily fooled without ever really being tricked. And the way he says woops always gets me.

[4&nomore]

Quite the opposite; it's "Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore", the episode where Bart and Lisa become best frienRAB in the absence of Milhouse.

Another quick couple of faves, while I'm here (from Monty Can't Buy Me Love):

"Can't we go home yet? My feet hurt. All this fresh air is making my hair move. And I don't know how much longer I can complain!"

"Good heavens! What kind of radiola show IS this?!"

^ LOL. Who says "radiola" anymore?