Thread: I need help - been on Hydros over 10 years...

Fiesty, you are NOT a coward! It takes great strength and courage to do what you are doing whether you realize it or not. You could just as easily gone 'dr. shopping' or to the 'streets' to get your DOC. I have to admit that the idea of doing that was off limits to me as well, but I came SO close to buying some online without a prescription. The only reason I didn't was because I knew my husband would see it on the credit card and I wouldn't be able to hide it.

The shakes and the nausea will soon pass, just try to take it one day at a time. Don't think about anything but getting through the next hour. Try to sleep if you can as much as possible. I also found that warm baths helped. One of the worst things for me was the fever. I had a low grade fever for about two weeks which drove me nuts, going from sweats to chills and back again. If you alternate tylenol and motrin every two hours you can help keep that under control as well as some of your muscle aches. I know this is not easy, but it is worth it! You deserve to do this for yourself; think of it as a gift to yourself. Obviously not the w/d part, but the clean part that results. It's like being born again. Your mind will be clear and everything will be fresh and new, you won't be sick anymore, and you will have your energy back. You will feel like a whole new person and you will have a great outlook on life. I promise!!! It's absolutely amazing!

Keep posting often and telling us how you are. We're thinking of you!!

Hey you sound like me No one knows. i became a first time Granma in june. I havent had any in 7 days and was so proud. The lady I get them from called yeserday with 5 and of course I took them. had 2 left this am took them and now I am so pissed at myself cause I was 7 days in. My Doc retired so i have been buying them from her but I cant afford anymore.. I Had to come to work In a very high stress engineering job. I too am addicted to the Energy more than anything else. i become Super Wife Mom and employee. I am going to try again.

Hyper Typer, My husband is doing very well and with PT is walking more everyday, his dream for a few years has been to be able to walk with our grandchildren at the zoo and now in a few months probably by spring it will come true. I did post alot when I was in wd because you people whom I consider God's gift to me were the only humans I had to talk to and God knows I needed to vent. My 2 dogs had to listen moans and crying spells when we were here alone. My husband is a wonderful person and we've been thru alot together in the 35yrs of marriage and usually tell each other everything, but this is one thing I just haven't had the courage to tell him. I am still ashamed of myself, but I know one day I will tell him and I was thinking maybe he may already have an idea, but not sure and just isn't saying anything. Well here I go rarabling again and thank-you for your kind worRAB and everyones. This is the hardest battle I've ever had, I am a cancer survivor since the age of 27 and for me this addiction was the worst. You are also in my prayers as everyone on this board is. LOL, Fiesty

trophywife, Thank-you for your response. When I posted I was caving and scared, but I know I want to live and be free. I'm glad I tapered the best I could, I am in wd now and I think for the first time in yrs I have stopped lying to myself and maybe this is the best thing for me because I don't want to go thru this again. Like I said I have went ct many times because I ran out, but not this time and I keep telling myself you can take this 1 more minute and I keep repeating this. Having people like you and others on this board to me is saving my life and sanity. I know one day I will post on this board and say FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST. LOL, Fiesty2

Good for you fiesty for taking a good look and realizing whats going on.

I think we all feel that way fiesty. I felt like i would never have the energy the pills gave me or the social skills and just kinda gives you a "no fear" type approach to things you would normally feel erabarrassed or nervous about. Im almost 2 months clean and i have got all of my energy back if not more. Its a good difference between the two for me also, on pills i had super energy but didnt get as much done, now i do lots more and am more productive at work as well now that im clean. My wife is stunned at the way i act now. For me the w/d lasted a week pretty bad but i didnt get my 100% energy back for about a month, but i didnt get discouraged because i could tell a difference every few days after the hard w/d part. I guess what im saying is you will get back to feeling just as good about yourself as i hope you have before these, and for me i got to a point where you take them to feel "normal" and dont get a high from it. Now i feel more "normal" than i ever did high, i honestly never thought id feel as good as i do now.

Like ashamed said flip through my posts as well and take a glance, i couldnt have quit without this site and made my decision 2 months ago was the best thing i did.
Keep us updated im rooting for ya fiesty
Mec

It sounRAB like things are going better for you now. So happy to hear that your husband is improving. His dream of walking the kiRAB around in the zoo seems to be near coming true. You have been strong. Try to let guilt go. Be proud. And, yes, one day you probably will tell your husband. He will be so proud of you for your strength. Keep up the great work. Also, congratulations on 35 years of marriage. My husband and I celebrate our 27th anniv. Oct. 24th. It's amazing how time gets by and the things (both good and bad) couples must face together. Couldn't do it w/o him though !! Blessings to you and your family.