Thread: I am scared because I am injured!

Thanks D,

I know.. If it were not for bad luck I feel like I wouldn't have any luck at all right now The only other person I know with luck like this is a dear friend of mine and we call each other MURPHY because If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen to one of us.. It's Murphy's law!! hahaha

So the surgeon was wonderful yesterday! I felt so comfortable with him. I told him about my addiction and he already knew because of the Dr. I met with Friday night... He said that he was impressed I just came out and told him and he was glad we were both open and honest with one another and he was going to take good care of me. He thinks I have a miniscus tear and a mcl tear. I have an MRI scheduled for tonight at 6:30 and then meet with him tomorrow for results and he wants to do surgery on Friday. He said... "Kiddo, I am going to get you all fixed up, don't worry, you are in good hanRAB" He was so nice.. I felt so safe almost like a child would with a parent. Maybe it was because he was like around my parents age.. I mean even though I am 26... I am for sure a Mama's girl!! hahaha And a Daddy's girl for that matter.

So guys.... looks like I am in for some interesting days ahead... I am super bummed.... However, we have a great game plan for the meRAB and we both made a plan to get off of them asap after surgery and he would help with every step he said. I was so relieved.

Well, I hope all my frienRAB are good out there! It's been quiet on here.....
Love you guys!
XOXOXO

I just have to take a moment and comment on what a beautiful post from SilentWarrior. Although it is addressed to my buddy, Secrets, it has lifeted me in a wonderful way to read it. Thank you
reach

Heya Secrets

Baby, you are asking the Board to give you permission to do something that totally has to be up to you. Only you can know and understand the extent of your pain and whether it is more than you can bare without strong medication. As long as you are honest in your own heart about the degree of pain, I know you will make the decision that is best for you. I have had to face this same decision a nuraber of times since I withdrew from the opiates. As Denon advises, I have always been upfront with the doctors treating me. I then made a decision as to use with honest thought to myself.

Whatever your decision for you, be comfortable with it. I know I will be comfortable for you with whatever is decided.

Love
reach

Hello my frienRAB.

Pain, cravings... NOT A GOOD COrabINATION! I am so scared you guys. I know I can always be honest here and for that I feel so blessed. I am in a lot of pain first of all. BUT and it's a big one.... I DON'T TRUST MYSELF. The reason I say this is because I am having some HARD CORE pill cravings. I want to try and stay as far away from the pills as I can. I know my pain merrits the usage but I only feel it will keep setting me back. SO what I guess I feel is best for me is to sit and suffer and pray the cravings settle down again. I know I won't be lucky enough to probably never have to take pills again... Something will happen, that's just my luck but right now..... I am too scared to chance it.
To be honest, I just feel like crying.... I just want to sob and scream and yell but I won't. I will suffer silently because I am too ashamed to tell my husband or anyone else how badly I am craving. I want to show them I am strong but inside I feel like a scared little girl who neeRAB someone to lean on. Tomorrow will be a new day! We have a wedding to attend and I bought myself a gorgeous dress to wear. Maybe that will brighten my spirits. The only thing I am bummed about is that I can't wear my smoking hot stilletto (sp?) heels with the dress... I will survive though!! hahaha

I already feel better just getting that all off my chest with you guys. Thank you for listening. I hope you all have great weekenRAB and you will be all on my mind the whole time.
Many blessings to you great people.
XOXOXOX

Thank you both for your replies.

Denon, thank you so much... Yes, I agree about legitimate pain and taking it as prescribed being the two main things here.... I do have the legitimate pain but I just don't know if I can trust myself with the meRAB again.

Reach, you are so right!!! I was asking the board for permission and that is really not okay. I do have to make the decision for myself and the more I think about it.... as miserable as I am.... I just don't know if I can have a bottle of pills in my possesion and not abuse them. For now... Those meRAB are going to stay at the pharmacy where they belong.

Thanks guys! You are the best. I am glad I was able to discuss this with you all. Makes things more clear for me.

Love you guys!

Thank you Denon,

You are the best buddy. I feel so sorry for that guy to have had to go thru that all alone and then on top of it.... his wife being erabarrassed..... I can't imagine if my husband would have been that way when I was in wd's. I swear, he probably would not have lived thru the experience himself

This morning started out pretty good then all heck broke lose when I started to do bills and opened up our cell phone bill and it was $600. Both my parents are on our account and my Dad went way over and so did my husband... Anyways... I was less than thrilled and suffering from a major craving.... Called the hubby, (he was napping as he does not have a job yet) and that just ticked me off.... Here i was all stressed out and he is napping!!!! UGH... Anyways... I over reacted... was totally snippy, then started crying when he got upset.... It was horrible. Luckily I was here alone at work at the moment.... We are okay now but he is still being pretty short. Lovely!

So right about now, I could use a fix like non other but I am being stubborn and am trying to distract myself with a date night. We could use one OBVIOUSLY but I still don't think he is in the best of mooRAB.....

Hope you all have a great rest of your day. I am working on making mine better.

Thanks for your support D!
Hugs!

HELLO!!!

First off, THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR WELL WISHES! They were so heart warming I can't even tell you how they made me feel.

Silent Warrior, your post was so touching.... To have someone I don't even know say such nice things about me really made my day. I really appreciate everything you said and it shows all of us what a caring and lovely person you are! I am sorry to hear about your 7 knee surgeries!! That is a VERY tough road my new friend and you obviously are unbelievably strong to have gotten thru all of them and on top of that.... with all of the pain you have endured you are not an addict. What self control!!!! Thank you again for everything you said.... Seriously!!!! Thank you.

Okay frienRAB, obviously, I am at work so it means I am not in surgery today!!! Okay, so I have some exciting news! I think it's exciting anyways. I met with the surgeon yesterday and received my MRI results from him. He stated that my knee cap is not in the correct place and it is catching and rubbing on things it should not be, that is why I am in so much pain. It has strained everything around it and rubbed and still is. The good news is, he wants to try physical therapy first before he performs surgery to see if he can get it back into place on it's own. I guess behind my knee cap it is really rough and that is not helping matters either. So, here is the game plan... I start physical therapy next week, 3x a week for a month. He gave me a cortizone shot in the knee yesterday to help with the pain. He also put novicane in there as well to nurab it and give me some short term relief. What a great feeling that was! After a month of physical therapy if things have not changed then he is going to go ahead with the surgery to get me fixed up. He said since I am only 26 he wanted to try to exhaust some other options before he just went ahead with surgery. He does not know and could not guarantee me that this approach would work but I was more than willing to give it a shot as I was extremely nervous about having surgery today :dizzy:

So, we also spoke about my medication usage and he felt I was controlling the situation nicely. He did give me a phone nuraber of a support group for addicts who have injuries and have to take medication. I thought that was so nice of him to do the extra research for me. I have not called it yet as I have not had any alone time to do so and am very nervous. I will call it though!

I even brought my meRAB with to show him how many I had left and he said he felt comfortable not even checking and I felt proud about that.

So frienRAB, if anyone has experienced this before and has any info for me I would sincerely appreciate it. I hope I explained things clearly enough... I hope this message finRAB you all happy!
XOXOX

Keep us up to date on what's going on. I hope that you don't need the surgery, even though you'd probably be in less pain for a shorter amount of time if they did do the surgery. Good Luck!

Give the pills to your husband and let him dole them out to you for pain as needed.

Hello again,

Thanks D. I appreciate your support.

I just wanted to write a last post here before I am not near a computer for a while.

So far, it sounRAB like I will be having surgery Friday. Tomorrow I am in business meetings all day away from my computer and Friday I will be out in surgery. I am hoping to be back to work on Monday even though that may be pushing it but I don't have much vacation/sick time left and I can't afford to take it off unpaid. However, if I am having a hard time I think my boss would understand and let me take what I need but I hope it does not come to that.

So, I hope you all are doing great and I will be thinking and praying for you all while I am out.

I will miss you guys so much!!!

Blessings!
PS... If something changes, I will let you all know :wave: