Honesty.... so hard sometimes!

01-13-2011, 02:47 PM

Secrets...Good Mornin' Sunshine!
How are you doing this morning? I hope that you had a great night last night. I just wanted to leave you a post so that you'll have something to read as soon as you get up. They are like my little gifts to you! You know, like daily devotionals lol Just wanted to remind you of what an awesome job you're doing! With each passing day i hope that the cravings get easier & easier for you to deal with. So...Keep your chin up & know that i care about you very much & i'm rooting for you always. Have a great day!

01-13-2011, 03:27 PM

Angelique, you are honestly so great! Thanks for having my back!!! It's nice to hear confirmation that I am not over reacting. I have heard from several very trusting sources that I am not over reacting so between those people and everything you said... I firmly believe I have the right to have a discussion about this.

Everyone always asks if they are having an affair because of what he lets her get away with. No, they are not... I would know because it's just the 3 of us and there is no privacy in this place EVER. She is a bully and I am not kidding you, he is scared of her. His wife has wanted to fire her for years because of her disrespectful behavior. You would not believe some of the stories if I told you. She goes over her vacation time every year and he never charges her ever. She flips out so easily and swears and he will finally fire back at her but it's the most screwed up work situation that I have ever seen. He made the mistake of saying that we were family and she took advantage of him from day 1. That is why I was so SHOCKED that he believed her in the first place because she lies non stop. She is so mean to me about trying to start a family with my husband because she had a hysterectomy in Dec. Her and her husband tried off and on for 10 years or so to have a child and they had 3 losses and each one I was there for her and my heart broke with her. When I had my miscarriage she told my boss that I didn't even ovulate so how could I have had a miscarriage!! NOT KIDDING. How would she know if I Ovulated or not? Why would I ever make up a miscarriage? I think she thought of it because it's something she has either done or would do..... I hate to sound so harsh but this is all truthful. She won't talk to me about my husband and I having a child hopefully, she never said a word about my miscarriage after the day I had it and the day I did have it she said. I am so sorry for you loss Secrets, do you want to take the day off tomorrow? Then the next day I came to work and she was distant, didn't even ask how I was. Nothing. So I know she hurts not being able to have a child but regardless she does not need to treat me this way. It's like she thinks she can walk all over me for some reason. She even had the B@lls to tell me that she did not want to be a godmother because it would destroy her and she would not be able to handle it!!! WHAT NERVE. First, I am not even pregnant, second, who and the heck do you think you are assuming I would chose you? I think a family meraber would be a better choice than her unstable self! That is just scratching the surface and the stress here all day long with her makes my cravings so badly. I swear that is part of the reason they have not subsided. The stress is unreal. It triggers my cravings every time. Let alone the fear I have that when I do get pregnant that the stress will harm the baby but my boss has already told me he would not allow that but we shall see...

Okay, I gotta run now.. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!! YOU HAVE SUCH A KIND HEART!!!!

Big hugs to you honey! Thank you for your frienRABhip!

01-13-2011, 04:33 PM

Secrets,
O M G ! ! ! i can't believe the nerve of your co worker! Man, you really find out who your true frienRAB are in the time of need, huh?! That is really rotten & low down dirty of her! I hope that she is proud of herself because "Karma" is a "you-know-what"! Frankly, i don't know how you are able to show such restraints around her because i would be in jail because i would snatch her bald-headed! But you don't need that lol so i'm glad that you had all of your little duckies in a row! Ooh! it just makes me so mad! How dare she try to kick you when you were already down. Rotten Witch!...I need to breath....lol
I'm sorry that your unhappy with your work place right now but believe me, i can certainly understand why. With what this witch pulled & now the big boss man crackin' down, i wouldn't feel very happy to be there either. At the same time i do know the importance of having a good job, especially in this economy so i give you alot of credit for staying there & trying to do your best. And of course, you are very smart to always have your ducks in a row, like you said. You're a smart little cookie! I will say some extra prayers for you tonight that the stress levels at your work place calm down & that you will be happy in your work environment. With everything you've just gone through you sure don't need any added stress.
Yes, Secrets, FIGHT those cravings! You can do it! If anybody can do it its you! I have every faith in you! I am always cheering you on & pulling for you. You will beat this! I do know how very hard those cravings can be, believe me & i do know how sometimes it takes every fiber of our being to stay strong & to be able to fight those little voices that lie to us but you are doing such a remarkable job Secrets! Please stay strong in this journey & keep marching with your head held high because i know that you can do this!
I will continue to check in with you everyday. Post when you can & when you can't, we understand & we will be here supporting you regardless. I really do have alot of respect for you Secrets. Keep up the good work! Don't let anybody or anything get in your way or try to bring you down. Give yourself lots of love & pats on the back because you deserve it! Take care & God Bless.

01-13-2011, 04:40 PM

I give you alot of credit for your honesty and your strength. You hang in there and dont let your quard down. Karma is a B----h and your coworker will get hers. Nothing is easy when it comes down to something like this. You do need to pat yourself on the back. You seem like a great person who is stronger than you think. I have faith in you just by what you wrote that you will not let yourself down and that you can beat this. We are pulling for you. And thank you for your support regarding my sweetheart Scott.

Take Care
Dohna

01-13-2011, 05:38 PM

Secrets,
You are very welcome! No, you're not over reacting. Not at all. Infact, you have shown alot of politeness & couth in this whole thing because i'm telling you i would very seriously be fired & sitting in the back of a cop car lol So, its good that given the fact that you're already under so much stress that you can remain so cool headed about the whole situation, props! Seriously Secrets, i would be on COPS! lol
WOW! hes scared of her!? I'm not even sure that i know what to say to that lol Other than its pathetic. And it just confirms that he really does need to get a back bone & grow some b@lls!
From everything that you've said , she sure does sound like a big bully! A very hateful, ugly, mean spirited person. All of the qualities i dispise! She sounRAB like a hate'R!
You know what its begining to sound like to me? Like she is JEALOUS! Like shes hating on you because you & your hubby are trying to start a family & this upsets her because she knows that she cant have any children of her own. So shes taking out her anger & resentment, from her own personal problems, on you. And this is so unfair to you. Heck, i cant have anymore children either but i'm not going around hating on everybody else that can. And btw, Congrats! on working on trying to start a family! I really do believe that this has alot to do with this chics problem. Shes angry, jealous, & envious. Oh yeah, & a big fat bully lol Well dont you let her bully you around Secrets. And like you said "how the heck would she know whether you are ovulating or not?". What nerve! What, was she just passing by one day near the vacinity of your ovaries? lol Give me a break! Perhaps this chic should check into some counseling! And just to assume that you would ask her to be your chilRAB Godmother! Is she kidding!? That takes alot of nerve! Something that we already know this chic has alot of lol
Yes, of course this is one of the reasons why your cravings arent subsiding, because of this chic & her BS! And that lame brain, spineless boss had better do something about it to correct the problem because once you do become pregnant that stress can harm the baby so he better put a stop to it now. No reason to wait.
I will keep you in my prayers Secrets. Try to just relax & take deep breaths. Because stress will actually hinder you from concieving a child. It can make things harder. Dont let that b---h stop you from your dreams! Take care Secrets.

01-13-2011, 06:18 PM

hi, secrets,
just like to add my name to your list of many well-wishers. Take good care of yourself and come back to us in your own good time. We all love you. BIG hug.....neve

01-13-2011, 07:35 PM

Hello Secrets,

Just want to wish you a lovely day

I hope all is well with you. Keep your head up my friend, and smile - you're worth it

Love emsmom

01-13-2011, 08:28 PM

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!

Your replies made me smile and they were so heart warming. I don't know what I would do with out all you guys!

So here is the scoop. I called her out on the carpet in regarRAB to her lies IN FRONT OF THE BOSS! She could say NOTHING to defend herself because I had all my paper work done, submitted and had my form all ready to turn in to him for credit but then Mom got sick and I was gone for a week. My boss said that he had no idea what the whole story was... I told him that he should not have paid her the whole bonus then. When have I ever not made my goal?? NOT ONE TIME IN 10 YEARS! So, I did get my bonus. However, she did not get in any trouble AT ALL. He didn't even sit her down and tell her it was beyond wrong to lie to him and to try and steal from me. I WAS SHOCKED. They both have been doing NOTHING but KISSING MY BUTT and I am being business friendly but I am keeping them both at an arms length and focusing on my job. Funny thing... We have another goal this month and it is worth a LOT more than lasts months so I have been really giving it my all. I have already met my personal goal for the month to qualify for money and I have half of the "office goal" completed just by myself and it's March 4th... So I am glad I let my actions speak louder than my worRAB. However, this is FAR from over. I am taking this week to cool down because I do have a hot temper which my fertility meRAB are only making worse but I have kept my hissy fits for my house.. Lucky husband!! haha I have a CLOSED DOOR appointment scheduled with my boss on Monday. I do not feel any of this was acceptable. I know my worth here and I will not be taken advantage of and kicked while I am down because my co worker thinks I am too frantic to notice not getting paid for a bonus.. YEAH RIGHT. I am upset by him not sitting her down to let her know that sort of behavior is not acceptable... SO many things and I know if I don't get them off my chest that it will just keep getting worse and worse. I planned on retiring here and now I have some big doubts. ALSO...... I FOUND OUT HE WAS GOING THRU MY CELL PHONE... MY PERSONAL CELL PHONE when I went to the ladies room. THAT IS SO UNACCEPTABLE. He has made a dear friend of mine feel extremely violated and of course I am feeling the same way. It's time to set some guidlines.. I may not be the boss but I know what my rights are. I am not the 18 year old girl he sent so school so many years ago! I am a grown A$$ WOMAN.

So, thank you all for your support. If you made it thru ANOTHER one of my eye nurabing posts then I LOVE YOU! hahaha This situation is just feeding to my cravings and making me feel more itchy to use but I have nothing around me, I will not slip and call my Dr. Then "they" would win and I would only be hurting myself! I am too stubborn for that to happen

Thanks for all being there for me.
XOXOXOX

01-13-2011, 10:01 PM

Hi Secrets!
I want to thank you for your honesty. You didn't have to tell us anything about your relapse but you did & that alone speaks volumes as to the kind of person you are. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you to tell us all about your relapse so thank you so much for your honesty. And while i'm not trying to make excuses for you, i can totally understand how a relapse could happen because you were under so much stress with everything that was going on with your mom & then being hospitalized yourself. So honestly, Secrets, do not beat yourself up over this. Like you've said, move on & always keep "recovery" front & center in your mind. Just another lesson learned in this journey to sobriety & recovery! You are 100% right, there is absolutely no reason why you should let one day of weakness bring you down. You are way stronger than that! Just pick yourself up & dust yourself off & start anew! Don't look back & don't dwell on it, the past is the past & today is a whole new day!
I will keep you & your mom in my prayers & if you ever need my frienRABhip or support or just somebody to listen i will be around.
I'm so happy to hear that the storm is calming & that things are returning back to normal for you, with work & what not. Very happy to hear that your mom is doing much better. Take care & God bless.
Your in my thoughts & Prayers.

**tomatoface** · 01-13-2011, 10:50 PM

I'm so sorry to read your recent posts. You've been through so much - too much - and it's time for things to turn around! You've helped me so much - wish there was something I could do for you.

I am so impressed by the strength and determination you've shown throughout your recent ordeals. Faced with all that you've been through, many people would have given in -- the fact that you've remained committed to staying drug-free is something you should be so proud of!! And there is no doubt in my mind you will remain that way.

Take care of yourself. Hope things start looking up for you - ASAP!

My very best wishes,

TF

Welcome to Discuss Everything Forums...

Tags for this Thread

Thread: Honesty.... so hard sometimes!

Thread Tools

Rate This Thread

Display