The 'Transformers Sucked' Thread

[K9crazytf]

we both know how stupid this comment is

[sevenABs]

There is nothing short of 15 threads in this forum talking about how good Transformers is, so let's get a little balance in here. An abridged list of common complaints about Transformers.


1) 'Hackers' added nothing to the film, and cutting everything in relation to them would have made the film much better.
2) Sector Seven, in a way, helped the plot, but they were far from the best way to do it. It would have been very easy to cut them and re-work the plot in a fashion that didn't bore the crap out of everyone, like a plot involving the Decepticons.
3) Qatar subplot was unnecessary and out of place. They spend all that time building up their character, but they don't do anything in the movie, and you know they failed to do the characters right because when one of them dies, you don't care. Would have been better to not establish their characters, but rather use the scene to introduce the Decepticons to earth.
4) Hoover Dam
5) The action sequences had shitty directing. The constant zoomed in shots, cramped angles, and general awkward design of the Transformers made it hard to tell what the fuck was happening most of the time.
6) The Megatron chasing Sam scene made NO SENSE. Megatron can clearly move through walls, and run 5x as fast as Sam, yet somehow completely failed to catch him as he ran through a building, then when he corners Sam he has a fucking staring contest instead of killing Sam. Uhhhh... k?
7) Some of the plot jumps made no sense, Hoover Dam => LA for example. What exactly happened between those two.
8) Some instances of obnoxiously horrible dialog. Mentions of Quantum Physics and the 'Deepest Trench in the World' for instance, simply googling the terms would have rendered the necessary material to correct the script, but they failed to even do that.
9) The Decepticons got no character development. Which really makes us not care at all about them during the final fight.
10) Pacing was terrible. The movie was set up in the first 15 minutes, but it didn't really start until 75 minutes in. There's literally an hour of wasted material, all in one chunk.
11) Optimus didn't have a facemask on.
12) A great deal of product placement. Not an enormous gripe, but it does get old after awhile.
13) No sense of suspense or drama. Goes straight from donut jokes to melodrama, the 'Suspense' in the movie sets up things everyone and their sister see coming, etc. Scenes don't connect well.
14) Too many extraneous characters/themes/etc that don't serve to help the movie at all. The only reason I can think of that the dog was in the movie was to call him a crackhead, the rest of his screentime was wasted.
15) Mikaela acts completely unrealistically towards Sam. As a matter of fact, almost all the characters act rather unrealistic toward everything. Upon seeing an enormous fucking fighting robot for the first time, Sam makes a joke about it being Japanese, for example.
16) Insults the intelligence of the viewer. 'Qatar- Middle East,' the completely improper Quantum Mechanics comment, 'It would have taken the most advanced supercomputers 20 years to do that but they did it in 10 seconds,' etc.
17) Transformers are, possibly, too detailed, it's impossible to tell how they work, and as far as I can tell instead of 'transforming' they can just metamorph into whatever the fuck they want. Which begs the question, why do they even really have corresponding cars, if they can obviously just change what they morph into, as they do it throughout the entire movie? Why do only some transformers have cannons for example.
18) No one cares when characters die, clearly shows that we don't care about the characters at all.
19) Skorponok... where did he go?


That's all I can think of off the top of my head, but that's a lot of major complaints. To head off stupid comments-

R: Dude, it's Michael Bay/It's an Action flick/It's Transformers/It's Robots/etc., don't worry about it and just enjoy it.
A: None of those excuse it from being bad, and do you think I'd insult it if I enjoyed it when I watched it? Clearly I'm just explaining why I didn't like it. I tried to sit through it a second time, but about an hour and ten minutes in I just got too bored to put up with it, so it's not like I didn't give it a chance.

R: You're just upset it isn't true to G1
A: I don't know anything or care about G1
R: Why are you watching the movie then?
A: I watch movies, and I'll damn well judge it as such.

R: You just have bad taste in movies
A: Good job backing up your opinion, at least I can back mine up, and not just ignorantly spam personal insults

R: Why don't you direct it then?
A: Someone call the hyperbole police. The fact that I'm not a working professional in the industry invalidates my opinion? Guess it invalidates yours too

R: Blahblahblahblahblahblah
A: K.

[LiSA (:]

[(-:Twilight Fan!!!]

[wlameron_123]

I'll sign off on most of those

[Corpsman Joe]

almost everyone of those has a counter point in Live Free Die Hard.

[Shaft]

I beg to differ.

[dacanhminhle]

out

that movie was fucking crazzzzzzzzy

Megan Fox

[Erastus]

agreed

[wild_legs76]

Kalypso -1