Dump your homemade Family Guy cutaways here!

[peace :]]

Cleveland: "Peter, I have no use for this sofa any longer. It was Loretta's and she never came to claim it back. Would you like to have it?"
Peter: "Aw, are you kidding? Does James Woods crap in a bear?"

James Woods sitting on a dead bear: "I know...I'm messed up."

[thegreengecko]

Another one I made up:

Lois: Peter, you're so wacko!
Peter: I am not wacko!
Wakko (from Animaniacs): Did somebody mention my name? I'm Wakko from the Warner Brothers and Warner Sister! Does anybody want to hear me make bubbles with my spit? Or maybe hear me sing the 50 states and their capitals? Baton Rogue, Lousiana...
Lois and Peter: GET BACK IN THE WATER TOWER WITH YOUR 2 SIBLINGS, YOU WAKKO WACKO!

[P-Rad]

Goodness gracious, it's still alive?

[sunggy]

Peter: You know how bad I am at recognizing people.

Bert Raccoon: Hi Peter, How's it going?

Peter: Wait a Minute, I remember you. You're Alvin Chipmunk, right?

(Bert's eyes start to twitch and turn red and starts to froth at the mouth)

Bert: AHHHHHHH!!!

(Bert brutally mauls Peter half to death like a real raccoon.)

[kerbear]

Cleveland: I have two Kiss tickets for this weekend, and no date. Would you like to go, Peter?

Peter: Are you kidding? Does a bear play craps in the woods?

Bear at craps table, shaking dice: "COME ON SIXES! COME ON, I REALLY NEED THIS!! THIS IS MY LAST DIME..."
The dice land on the table. "Snake eyes, sorry."
Bear: "WAIT! WAIT! ONE MORE BET! Do--do you accept Twinkies? Hey, I think I have a kid or two! WAIT! NO!" He yells as security pulls him away from the table.

[justmeagain]

BRIAN: That guy spews more bullcrap than Ferdinand's large intestine.

*CUT TO: Ferdinand the Bull about to take a dump*

*Brian rushes onscreen, obscuring the view*

BRIAN: Whoa, whoa! We do NOT need to see tha--
*turns around*
--auuuughhhhhhhhh... oh, OHHHH, that is not... that is not... Ohhhh, it's like 99% of the internet...

[Ronnie Acuna]

Freakazoid! already did that joke.

[marylovesyou]

You're talking about PC-Famicom64, right? He got banned, so we won't be seeing him make any more references about that stuff.

[potalot89]

Lemme try another one

Brain: Peter the show is tomorrow, you ready?
Peter: What show?
Brain: Yeah, your not ready
Peter: I know, damn it, this is gonna be worse then that time I was on Maury Povich

[Flash to the Maury stage with Peter and Lois]

Maury: Ok, lets take a look at these results. In the case of 17 year old Meg Griffin, Peter, you ARE the father!

[Crowd shocked reaction, Lois gets up and cheers]

Peter: [Obscenities improvised by Seth MacFarlene]

[Twox2]

Here's one they could use for the Cartoon Wars comeback I was rootin' for

[Scene starts with Quagmire, Joe, Cleveland and Peter at the bar]

Peter: Oh man guys I can't wait until the Playboy party tomorrow
Quagmire: Is Lois coming?.......giggity
Peter: What? Why the hell would I tell her about it, that'd be worse then the time I kilt Kenny

[Cut to a poorly animated scene with 4 look-a-likes of the South Park boys, then suddenly, a car runs them over]

Lois: PETER WHAT THE HELL? YOU JUST RAN OVER THOSE KIDS BACK THERE
Peter: You think THAT'S BAD? What about the time I kilt Kenny

[Cut to the exact same scene with Peter running them over again]

Lois: PETER WHAT THE HELL, YOU JUST RAN OVER THOSE KIDS BACK THERE
Peter: You think THAT'S BAD? What about the time I kilt....

[Cut back to bar]

Peter: Sorry that was kinda random