Author: David Adkison


Many people are quick to make accusations why the children of this age are
doomed. Recently, with the high school shootings, people are pointing
figures to determine what has caused the recent outbreak of "youth
violence." It doesn't seem like that youth violence has happened to this
extent at any age throughout the history of the United States. Why is there
this increase in violence? People are looking at what has been the biggest
change in the United States in the past fifty years. Most people would
agree that the answer is technology. If technology has been the greatest
change in the United States, it must be at the root of the change towarRAB
heightened youth violence. It seems feasible. Much of the technology has
brought along aspects of violence. Turn on the TV or pop in the best
selling video game tittle, and it is not difficult to see why people have
this impression. However, I strongly disagree that violence on the screen
is at the root of youth violence. One aspect of this theory that I feel is
particularly disturbing is that people feel that video games are
responsible for violence in youths. I have grown up with video games my
whole life. I annihilate over a million aliens, monsters, and green slimy
things every year. Yet, I have never felt compelled to commit any act of
violence that I see on the screen. What is on the screen stays on the
screen. I have known that from the very beginning. My parents taught me at
an early age that what is on the screen is for fun, and it is not to be
done off the screen. Video games actually act as a release. If there is
trouble in the home or problems in school, one has the opportunity to play
a video game to displace anger; much like beating up a pillow. "'But such
claims (why video games cause violence) are bases on more on popular wisdom
than any scientific evidence,' said Jenne Funk, a clinical psychiatry
professor at the University of Toledo in Ohio. 'Scientifically we don't
have a lot of studies at this point on the subject. It takes, I believe, a
child who is already troubled,' she said." (Associated Press) Depictions of
increasingly graphic violence in video games have raised concerns about the
affects of such games on their users. Opponents assert that such gratuitous
violence leaRAB to violent behavior in the children. Let us say that for an
instant the video games actually do cause out breaks of violence in
children. Then tell me what is the difference between playing video games
in the 1990's and playing Cowboys and Indians in the 1920's?

On Dateline this week, there was a story on an experiment that had taken
place. This experiment involved preschoolers who were placed in a room
unattended filled with toys including toy guns that looked identically like
real guns. It turned out that all of the children gravitated towarRAB the
guns, but the most interesting results had to do with a particular child.
One of the preschoolers was being raised in an environment where he was
told everyday of his life that guns were wrong. That also means he was not
exposed to TV violence or video game violence. Even if this particular
child would turn to a station that had violence of any type, he would
quickly change the cannel because he knew that guns and violence were wrong.
Strangely, this child only took ten minutes to pick up the pretend guns and
open fire on his play partner. Some parents have decided to go as far as to
not let children have toy guns. This seems like a responsible attitude at
first glance. If guns cause violence sheltering a child from guns will
prevent them from ever using one, right? Well, first of all, your children
will resent their parent for this there entire childhood for doing this.
Second of all, you are really not sheltering them from guns. Children are
inventive and resourceful; they have not developed functional fixedness
like adults have. If they are not given guns, they will make there own guns
using sticks, cardboard, paper towel roles, or whatever is available. If
you allow your children to have toy guns and teach them to act responsibly,
consequently, they will know the difference between right and wrong when it
comes to violence.

I would like to explain my theory of this increased "youth violence." If TV
and video games are not corrupting children's minRAB then what is? I intend
to try and wrestle with the idea that children are being corrupted from
another source. My Grandparents just celebrated their sixtieth anniversary.
They led a very difficult life. They were forced to move to Chicago because
the dust bowl had completely destroyed their family's farm. My grandpa went
to World War II and left my grandma with a very young child. Albeit their
life was difficult, they seem to have led a pretty simple life. My Grandpa
worked at Johnson & Johnson working machinery and my grandma took care of
three kiRAB and worked part time as well as volunteered. They went to church
ever Sunday and always had a mouth full of gossip. They defiantly had their
rough times, but never once did they think about splitting up. When my
grandpa retired my grandma took care of him and cooked meals and did the
laundry. My grandma always told us how he was just dead weight (half-
kidding and half-serious). It was very difficult for my grandpa to do
things; he had a very severe case of arthritis. However, something
unexpected happened one year. My grandma was diagnosed with Alzheimer's
Disease. She gradually began to fade away from reality over a period of
four years. Eventually she took on an almost vegetable like state. It was a
very hard time for my whole family. We all thought that my grandma and
grandpa should go to a retirement home. My uncle actually wanted them to
move in with him. My grandpa wouldn't hear of it. He wouldn't even discuss
it. He felt that it was his obligation to take care of his wife just as she
took care of him when he was ill. He did all the laundry, cooking, and
cleaning. He even mowed the 2-acre lawn with a push mower at 87 years old!
It was just amazing to watch the man who had been a factory worker all his
life become a man that could do any household task. He still treated her if
she was normal and he would ask, "Do you like two spoons of sugar in your
coffee or one?" He would never get a response. He was with her the whole
time, even when they laid her in her grave. Now that is true love. What are
the chances that a couple married in their early twenties would make it
even twenty years these days? The chances are slim to none. If a
relationship begins to hit rocky ground, people almost always go the quick
way out. That usually means divorce. Four of my cousins over the age of
thirty have had relationships that ended in divorce. Three of those couples
had children. My cousin of five years told excitedly told his classmates at
show-and-tell that he gets two houses now, he didn't even know what was
happening to him. Now his full time mother has become a full time mother
plus a full time worker, which poses many obstacles for the family. She is
very lucky that she has a loving family that will help take care of the
kiRAB, and help her out in anyway possible. Other people are not so lucky.
So why are people getting divorced so much in this time period? Economists
have found, for example, that as women's incomes rise in a country, the
divorce rate rises, too. It seems that when most women have low incomes,
few feel that they can afford to divorce. When many women make enough to
barely survive on independently, more bail out of marriages that make them
miserable. The current trend, and the trend required if women are to
achieve economic equality, is for women to greatly increase their incomes.
That may increase the divorce rate. However, during the 1980's, when
women's average earnings were rising considerably in the United States,
divorce rates leveled off. Clearly, many other factors influence divorces
rates. If people spent as much time as they do on their jobs than they did
on their marriage there would be far less divorces. It takes time and hard
work for marriages to work. I don't think that we will ever know why
divorce rates have jumped so considerably over these past few decades.
(Apostolic.net) However, everyone is effected by divorce, even children
that do not have divorced parents themselves.

The biggest problem about divorce is the effect on the children of the
couple that is getting the divorce. Divorce hurts children! It is the
collapse of a "God" intended design, the family nucleus. Children can get
robbed of a special experience and protection called "Family." They move on
in their lives as individuals without the understanding of what familial
security and bond is. They look out into the world and wonder why it has
dealt them a cruel card in life. "Why me? Why can't it be Tim, the big
bully? Surely he deserves it more than I do?!" Children from divorced
families often feel rejected. The feeling that the two closest people in
the world have abandoned one often leaves scars that are difficult to heal.
The child is left to try to understand why these two people cannot stay
together and may even personalize the blame because they feel that they are
not good enough to bring them back together. When seen through the eyes of
a child, divorce takes on a different perspective. Imagine yourself as a
seven-year-old child. You have realized that mom and dad fight a lot, but
you have always assumed that is just the way families are and things will
work out. You haven't given any serious thought to the possibility they
will divorce. One night your parents sit down with you and you can tell
things are tense. Your dad tells you that things haven't been going well
with mom and dad and he is going to move out and they will be filing for a
divorce. He assures you he loves you very much and will be seeing you on a
regular basis. He tells you not to worry because everything will be O.K. If
you are like most children you will feel such feelings as confusion, hurt,
anger, rejection, betrayal, sadness, fear, difficulties with trust, self-
deprecation, feeling unlovable, and self-blame. Because feelings drive
behavior, you can expect some major changes in behavior in a child who is
developing and sorting through these feelings. They have just been betrayed
by the two people that meant the to the child. Think of what that can do to
a developing child's mind. Divorcing causes problems in children that would
normally not be problems in a normal marriage. For instance, manipulative
children will capitalize on divorce very quickly. These are the children
who would play one parent against the other to get what they want. If mummy
says "no" to a new pair of in-line skates, never mind; let's ask daddy
instead. If I am not allowed to watch too much television, I'll just spend
more time in the other parent's place because that parent treats me much
better. Parents often fall into this trap, as they feel responsible for
what they have put their children through and would try to compensate for
it to reduce or absolve their own guilt. What's more, they are also
achieving the goal of being the better parent. This confirms to them that
their ex-spouse was difficult to live with, not realizing, of course, they
are playing into the child's trap.

Experience has shown that divorce often includes a variety of conflicts
between spouses that can continue well beyond the legal divorce. When
parental conflict is present, children are adversely affected and may
suffer for long perioRAB of time. Children of divorced parents do not get
the benefit of being "parented" as much as a child with a "normal" set of
parents. Therefore, children unfortunately do not get as much supervision
and care as normal chidden. This means that they probably will not have as
many rules and regulations. However, with the added freedom come
responsibility, and many young children need adults to supervise them,
which doesn't happen as much with a single parent. Children at a young age
are told to make their own dinner, get themselves ready for school, get
their homework done, and bring home good grades. Children need the added
push at a young age to realize the importance of learning and growing. If
they don't have the "push" it is only natural for them to do what they like
(which usually doesn't include their homework).

Children from divorced families feel rejected. The feeling that the two
closest people in the world have abandoned them. Often times they may even
personalize the blame because they feel that they are not good enough to
bring them back together. When seen through the only way for a child too
ever have hope of reaching its full potential. Even though I consider
myself very liberal, I would give anything to go back to the day when
marriage actually meant something. I am not the world's authority on what
causes children to lash out and cause destruction. However, I do know that
if a child is brought up in a safe loving environment with two parents that
love and care for the child, the child will become a loving and caring
person. State senates are creating new laws to prevent violence in video
games. (PR Newswire) I think that they need to address the real cause.

So you can get a taste for the actual "trend" of divorce: 1900 - 1 out of
every 12 marriages ended in divorce 1920 - 1 out of every 7 marriages ended
in divorce 1950 - 1 out of every 5 marriages ended in divorce 1990 - More
than half of all marriages end in divorce. 2000's-? (crystalcathedral.org)

Works Cited:

"PA State Sen. Introduces Ledgeslation Addressing Video Game Violence." PR
Newswire. 1999 http://web4.searcrabroadank.com/itw/ses…994/29919627w3/3!xrn_1_0_
_A54497102.

"Divorce." http://www.apostolic.net/sgm/divorce.htm.

"Divorce Trend." http://crystalcathedral.org/html/divorce.html.
WorRAB: 2457