Is it selfish of me to want to continue my education?

[A M]

My fiance and I have a eleven month old baby, and when he was born i was in the middle of my college education, so i put it on hold to be with him, now that he is getting older my fiance, who already has a degree, has just been promoted in his job and we will be in a better place financially where i will not have to work part time, I would love to go back to school in the fall, instead of back to work, but my fiance found out they they want to expand the company he works for and are wanting to move him across state. It would be a big careeropportunityy for him, and i want him to be successful, but at the same time i can not start college and have to leave in the middle of a semester.

Is it selfish of me to want to go back to school even if it mean my fiance my not be able to be promoted as quickly?? My feelings are that it is unfair for me to have to sit around and wait because he may or may not be getting moved in a year...


It is has been causing me a lot of inner turmoil, and I have tried to talk about this with him, but he says that I know school is really important to you and I would never tell you not to go back, but I just don't know what is best right now..... I guess i feel like that is not a good enough answer.... like he is just ignoring the issue of not even talking to me before he agreed to be moved out of the area

[Buddy]

you have an eleven month old baby
yes your a little selfish
your child is your future
your future is not as important as her/his future
grow up!

[Saskia]

Okay, as soon as I saw the question I thought THAT IS NOT SELFISH AT ALL. And after reading everything I still agree.

It is not self-fish at all to want to learn. I can see that you want to do what your husband wants but you must be true to yourself.

No-one can make this choice for you but you gotta remember that this is your life.

hope this helps

[Home treasure]

No it is not selfish wanting an education but....
This is how I see it as a Mum who worked,had children and got further education.
I was bored of looking after my child after 3 months I had wondered what had hit me, so I got part time work by the time youngest 6 months. The money was a big help but I had the back up for child care and never worked during sickness or if there was a work commitment that he could not avoid.

So in joint agreement we have you can continue your education.
The moving is more tricky, but if promotion beckons then you probably need to go. All sorts of things have probably crossed your mind.
New area, no one you know and you are confined by baby. Yes all scarey stuff. Try and look forward a few months - Your man is doing well with promotion, you have a few new friends and know what the area has to offer. Life is improving. The main thing to consider at the moment is you have a baby to look after and you are the one to do it. Except for the times when you can study with the help of your man. This is tough for any SAHM during the early years. You will find a way to get your degree and have a happy home life. Do not spoil each others chances but negotiate and share!

[Terri J]

My first inclination is to lecture you about having babies outside of marriage, but I'll resist that urge.

Your first responsibility is to your child. You need to make sure that he is safe and well taken care of; and that he maintains his relationship with his father. I would think that this promotion would be an aid to this. Could you possibly find a college near where you would have to move and check and see if you could enroll in the Fall and take online classes for the first? Then, after you move, you can finish up.

If this won't work, there have got to be other options. The worst case scenario is that you take one more semester off. In the total scheme of things, one more semester is not that big a deal. Certainly not too much to ask to maintain the relationship with your child's parent.