i have struggled with a bad body image since i was in 6th grade (i just graduated this year) i used to be really chubby in middle school and ive never been the skinny girl. other than middle school i was never overweight but i was never good enough for myself or my step grandma who liked to poke at my stomach and butt cheeks and tell me how fat she thought i was.

probably around march 2008 i started going to the gym after a comment someone made. i wasnt fat but i didnt like myself at all so any comment was a horrible one. at that time i was 5 foot 2 and 132lbs. since then i have continued going to the gym and go everyday now i am the same height and my weight varies from 126-129lbs but now some of that is muscle instead of fat.

in december i had reached 135lbs and became anorexic drooping to 114lbs in less then 3 months which for my body structure is very very skinny and was almost hospitalized and that is why i started eating again and gained most of the weight back. i hadnt weighed that little since 6th grade and i was shorter then. but since my anorexic episode i havent been able to enjoy dressing up anymore and looking nice.

before even though i didnt think i was very skinny i was able to wear cute fitted tops and short shorts without caring to to much. now i very rarely wear fitted tops. though the tops i wear arent ugly they just dont show my figure and arent as cute. and i cant wears shorts without feeling self conscious. i just want to be able to wear cute outfits and not worry and constantly be sucking in my stomach and worrying about my weight. i want to be able to eat what i want without having to do an extra mile at the gym or closely count calories for the rest of the week. its been a struggle for me for 6 years now so i dont know how easy it will be to get over now. but im desprite to feel good about myself again. can anyone help?