I am writing a persuasive essay thingy on why MLIA pwns FML.

If your lazy like me and dont want to read the whole thing please answer:
what do you prefer and why? Whats your favorite story from either FML or MLIA? what should I include in my essay?

and if you are a MLIA lover then read it and weep.... and answer the questions at the end

This is what I have so far:
Everyone here is probably familiar with the famous website called fmylife.com. If you’re not, it’s basically just everyday stories about funny unfortunate events happening to certain individuals.
Ex. “Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered for my girlfriend's birthday will be a week late, which makes it a week late for her birthday. I sat down and said we needed to talk, she burst into tears and apologized for 'sleeping with him,' I just wanted to tell her it would be late. FML”

FMLs rival website happens to be called My Life Is Average, where average everyday events happen to certain individuals.
Ex. “Today my girlfriend called and said she was breaking up with me, but then she came out of the tunnel. Her connection was much better. MyLifeIsAverage”

Both websites have the same idea. They have short stories that start with “Today” and end in “MLIA” or “FML”. The big difference is that FML are depressing stories, sometimes they are unrealistic, and you just feel horrible for the person who had to experience the events. When I read FML I just think to myself Liar. With MLIA you can relate to them. They make me think to myself: Hey, it’s funny because it is true.
MLIA is friendlier and more accepting. Scroll through the comments on any of the FML stories and you'll find a handful of people yelling at each other. Scroll through any of the comments of MLIA stories and you'll find people screaming I love you at each other.
MLIA loves Harry Potter, Ninjas, forts, and any child-like hobbies. The website has good idea of things to do when you’re bored, like their list of 333 things to do at Wal-Mart, or funny pranks to pull on friends and co-workers.
MLIA is more comforting and a happy place for me than FML. It is a place where you can let out your inner child that is just screaming to be let out. You may deny it, but I know that inside of everyone is a crazy Pokémon obsessed child just waiting to be let out. On MLIA you are accepted for your inner child, and you find people who are just as totally insane as you are.
FML is more about the complete failure of acceptance and the total rejection of our true selves and our big mistakes. MLIA is a lot about letting out your true self in awkward situations and receiving acceptance and positive responses. MLIA makes you more thankful for the small joys in life, because honestly who needs to be reminded of the bad things in life, even if they aren’t happening to us.
I love MLIA because it's more positive. It is also way cleaner. It seems like every other FML post is about sex, where MLIA has a delightful Peter Pan "never want to grow up" quality to it. I can laugh without feeling guilty. It's like we're celebrating life together, not laughing at each other's crap


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Its a little under 2 pages long (double spaced) but I need it to be 5 pages. What should I add to convince people? how can i improve it?