I need HONEST advice. I know I should get on with my life, but I can't. Why...

[Tina]

...was I not good enough? I really apologise for the long write up, but I need to get it off my chest. boyfriend broke up with me 3 months ago and disconnected his number 2 days later, he has never contacted me since. I have only heard things through his mum/mutual friends. The story is way too long but he is some. We were together on and off for two years.. and it was always him who left and would come back. He is 28 this year and I will be 22. He has been married before and left his wife.

After this, he got together with me. However, just before in 08, he leaves me because he needs to be ‘alone’ and cause he ‘loves’ me he will be back. He also cancelled a holiday we were supposed to go on. During this time, he mingled with numerous women and I later found out he had met them when he was with me. I told him to get lost, but soon after he asked for me back, saying he was ready to settle. During the time we were together we would find constantly, and he was extremely good at turning everything around on me. He could never be wrong. He would go out at times and not contact me for the whole night. He would be distant one minute and close the next. Two weeks after my 21st birthday, he leaves me (october). However, he c omes running back two weeks later. We book another holiday but 5 weeks after getting back together, he turns cold and dumps me again. I get really upset and he leaves me in a dark park alone. He cancels the holiday the next day.

But.. a week later, he gets into contact with me. We meet up and wants me back. He claims that he just gets ‘confused’ but he is so in love with me. He even says that loves me more then he had loved his own Wife. He promises never ever to leave me again and I would never have to worry. We rebook the holiday. He buys me flowers, promising never to leave. Xmas comes around then we go on a holiday. On the holday…. I paid for A LOT (I am a uni student and he works full time). We do everything he wants to do. After the holiday, he only sees me 3-4 times in two weeks and turns cold. He leaves me exactly 2 weeks after getting back, “Oh im not in love anymore”, “I care for u but as a person”. “We need to go our separate ways”. Again he leaves me in a park and d/c his number.
He spoke to my mum two months after we split saying how sad he is still, and he thinks of me everyday, he really did love me. Blah blah. Just to add, he took me to ALL his family events, I was very much part of his family. When we were together, he also would spend a lot of time with me, and NO other women were in the picture. He is VERY close with his family and very much a mummys boy, I feel like his family (immediate) influence him a lot.

I am so hurt and heartbroken. That was 3 months ago, I don’t know what to do, cause I want to hear from him still. We havent spoken and I only saw him once for a few seconds because we were at the same place, but i left straight after seeing him. I do not want to go around looking for him or contacting him. Was it me? Is something wrong with me? Does he think there is better out there? Cause everytime we break up he is out at bars mingling with women. I don’t want him to have someone else, it makes me feel sick. Why wasn’t I good enough? Why couldn’t he treat me right?
please help
Just a note to "way". We had been friends years before we got together. He did not lose respect of me. HE WOULD always pressure me to come to family things. For you rinformation.. i never ONCE introduced him to my family. He already knew my mum though from work. HE WOULD always want me to at his family things, cause we were 'serious'. I dont think you understand or read what i wrote right. I wanted honest advice.

[Way]

What you did wrong every other time he ditched you is the same thing you are doing wrong now. Waiting around with the door open to let him right back into an excessively comfortable and intimate relationship. You are giving him too much too soon. going on holidays and going to all the family stuff is the reward a guy gets after he commits legitimately. If not marriage, at least living together and sharing lives and resources. Anything you give away for free is worthless.

He's used you like a plan-b the whole time. when he can't score at the bar, he's got the old stand-by waiting at his home away from home, your place. "everytime we break up he's at the bars" get real babe! how about everytime he dumps you he goes shopping while you wait at home! and get really real, you implied you knew he was doing it before he dumped you as well.

to answer your sad little questions,you weren't good enough b/c you let him be bad to you thus lost his respect. he didn't treat you right bc you let him treat you bad. You need to go out and have some fun with other men. try breaking a few hearts yourself for a change. and never ever call his dc phone or talk to his mouth-breathing mother family or friends about how sad it is he dumped you but loves you still... that is more self-deprecating and pathetic and needy than any 22yr old chic willing to traffic with older dudes should ever have to stoop to. find a new dude!