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  1. #1
    ditto
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    make it rhyme somehow.

  2. #2
    Jenny
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    "Laugh Clown Laugh" Do you enjoy a circus,can you improve this poem?

    "Laugh Clown Laugh"

    Alas, the world's ways
    of words uncouth,
    delivered doubles
    doubts of truth,
    of love, of lust
    of rich, of poor
    of joy, of sorrow
    of power, of greed
    of politics
    quicksand issues,
    of me, of you
    over flat of land
    and oceans blue,
    has stripped our youth
    of naive innocence
    and self respect.
    With pointed fingers
    those in command
    ride upon a merry-go-round,
    no more brass rings to be found.
    Laugh clown laugh,
    those in command assimilate
    parities each and all, the media
    divide and conquer audience.

  3. #3
    Amusing...But pointless!
    Amusing...But pointless!'s Avatar
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    Change "clown" to "evil clown", cuz they ALL are.

  4. #4
    rocksixx
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    The only way to improve that peom is to delete it.

  5. #5
    TD Euwaite™
    TD Euwaite™'s Avatar
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    This is pretty good, with moments of greatness. I think you should put quotation marks around "Laugh clown laugh" in L21.

 

 

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