the past? I have been dating this guy for a few months, and he has a real sweet side sometimes. He will tell me I am beautiful, enjoys being with me, etc. I definitely have feelings for him, but sometimes I am disappointed in the things he says about other women, and it's a huge turnoff. Every time a hot ditzy blond appears on t.v. or in person, it seems like he has to mention something about it. I really have been trying to let it go, to bite my tongue. I am a firm believer in women's rights issues, so this is extremely difficult for me. I ask him if he would date someone like that, even if they were dumb and uninteresting, and he says yes, that's what every guy wants. The thing is, I am not a blond ditz, so does that mean that I'm NOT what men want? Am I NOT what you want? I brought up the fact that I didn't like hearing about how hot another girl is. He said it shouldn't upset me, because he's just saying what is on his mind. And I asked him if he wouldn't mind if I did said those things about other men. He said I should be open about it. But, out of respect, I don't mention how hot I think the second baseman is... I don't want him to think that he has to compare himself to that other person, which is what I do. I can't help it, that is what happens. So I want to treat him how I would want to be treated.

Another topic that was brought up involved him going out with a girl with implants. He was saying he wasn't really into implants, but that it was cool because it was a conquest he could tell his friends about, like when he dated a married woman. I told him that it made me sad to hear him say that. I asked him how he thought it was a conquest, and he had no answer. I said, it's not much of a conquest to sleep with someone who has low self esteem in the first place.

I told him that deep down, I do not think he is shallow, but that sometimes he acts that way, and it bothers me. I said maybe these are things you can talk about with your guy friends, but I hate hearing about it. He thinks I have no right to get upset and tell him how to act.

I'm not sure how to handle this situation going forward. Are all men this way, and if I can't be a lesbian, do I just have to learn to look the other way when men are being insensitive, objectifying, oblivious fools?