Thread: the hardest part of quitting alcohol

so I quit drinking alcohol.
The weekend was my biggest bingeing period when I did drink and I got through my first weekend last weekend by eating alot of food...
I am not going to drink again..in my life..EVER! I have made the commitment and havn't told anyone except myself..which is how I have to do it.

Here is the hardest part now....

What used to be fun when I drank is no longer interesting..about 95% of my life now is boring for some reason...even when I wasn't drunk before I would look forward to having a couple glasses of wine at night and that would make my whole day worth living..which is why I quit in the first place..

Seriously. I go to bed super early now because I have no idea what to do...I have looked up things to do when you quit drinking and there are huge lists of things read a book, go for a hike, join an AA meeting ETC... but none of those things seems interesting to me..NOT ONE THING. I spend my time sitting there, looking around, almost like I just woke up from 10 years of depending on alcohol to make my life more interesting...and I don't know what to do with myself.
Even my hobbies which were so stimulating and satisfying to me before are no longer that way...will that come back? I hope so
Depression has crossed my mind...but I am more thinking that I have to learn to live my llife without alcohol and that is something I have no idea how to do

The first is the hardest. can i ask what has made you stop ?

with regarRAB to the AA meeting i go, sometimes it is the last thing i wanna do, but like you i DONT wanna drink again, it turned me into verything i hate in a human. so i go and sit and listen. if the only thing i do that day is not drink then it is a succsess. also though going though the program offered at AA i am now able to guide people though the book and have found the buz i get from seeing someones eyes come alive is better thsn any buzz i got from dink or anything else i might have taken to change the way i felt/corabat bordom/whatever my excuse for that day was.

i wish you well with your plan, a suggestion from me would be look at it you aint drinking today, i failed everytime i said it was for good-weather i said it to others or myself for ever is waay to long, today i can handle.

awww... that is very sad...

All of my frienRAB..and when I say all..I mean Every Single one of my freinRAB including my family and long-term boyfriend are drinkers...
and when I made the comitment to quit I also made a comitment to never say anything to any of them because everytimeI tried before they would just look at me witha blank face and brush it off....and I would end up right next to them at the bar the very same day....
how dissapointed I was in myself to say I wanted to do something but never have to stregth to back it up.
I can't be around people that are drinking....pretty soon everyone I know wills tart to ask why I am not hanging out with them any more....I feel some big changes coming in my life....
It;s not like I want to be around Church people...but I would like to find some people that are good for me and can teach me how to be a better person....not a drunk!
Thanks for the response!

I'm sorry your friend is dying right in front of you ...over something that can be controlled...

you WILL find them in AA should you choose to go. also if your the same type of drinker as me, if you do go to AA i strongly suggest find someone who knows what they are chatting about and who actions match there worRAB and ask them to show you the steps. for me just stopping wasnt enough i had things i needed to put right in myself. when you have gone the main stay of the program there is no reason why you shouldnt go into a bar, valid reaosn permitting of course, ther eno point going just to sit and watch others have fun. but if you going to have a laugh and enjoy yourself it is possible. you prob wont end up staying hours and hours like we used to as it gets boring. but you can allow yourself the luxary of leavuing when you like

You know what, you never have to feel like you have done these last few days (trust me i thought it was a crok too) through me working the steps i have had the power given me to not think about alcohol or what a great time i would be having if i still drank. the acohol problem has been removed from me. to keep it away and saty in a recovered state of mind, body and spirt all i have to do is a few simplethings per day. and my life is soo much better than it was 2 and a bit years ago when i used to wake up, throw up and drink up... not just once a day but consitatently all through the day and night that was what i did... AND i thought for ages i was living the high life.

again GL and GB

Very well put!!! You do it One day at a time!!! As boring as it seems in your head AA is the besst place to be.

I wish you luck on this long journey!!

Yea, man, I feel ya. Life with a bottle seems way more beautiful than without it. It's just not the same when u're sober. I get bored, weak, irritated and all I can think of is the four letters, "LCBO", lol. (it stanRAB for liquor control board of Ontario, in case u don't know what it is). That promise u made to yourself is a big step. It's gonna be really good if you can keep it. Hang in there. From my experience, when I feel like drinking, I don't do any activities, I just try to lay down, relax, and close my eyes(which sometimes is hard too, because when I have a withdrawal, I start seeing bad dreams). Eating helps when you just drank, but when a couple of days passes it is better to refrain from food for a couple of days, from my experience(if you can quit drinking you can do that too, very easily). Good luck, and I wish I could make that type of promise to myself.

There were a couple of reasons..but the 1 main reason I wanted to stop was because it bothered me how whenever i was in a situation..any situation I found myself wanting to drink..or looking forward to drinking...then I would think ...Jeez...you know you weren't born drinking...you lived the first 18 years of your life not drinking..you used to go outside and play with your frienRAB when you were younger and that was good enough for you now the only fun you find inyour life is alcohol...maybe you should stop....so I tried and just found that I was way too bored.....the last time was the last time....
I'm done...but what plagued me before is still there.... finding something to do

but the way you put it...forever is way too long today i can handle is a really good way of looking at it....

I will just try to today for now.....

Another point about AA: not all AA meetings are the same. Try going to a nuraber of different locations, or even different times of day or night and see what the mix of people is. My son tried going when he was in a college and he just hated it. But a couple years later when he knew he had to stop, he tried a nuraber of different locations and eventually found a group that was much more his peer group...and it made all the difference for him.

The thing that was good about it was that it gave him a new group of frienRAB. He knew he couldn't continue hanging out with his old group, who were all users. He has only remained close to one of those people, but the group and the meetings provided the springboard that gave him the courage to make the changes he needed to make.

Your body and brain are physically going through changes as they adjust to life without alcohol. I think that is one reason why you feel a bit flat right now. This will improve, the farther out you get from the poisoning your body got used to.

Just think about today. For now, don't worry about what happened in the past or what the future will be like...as none of us can predict that. Make today the best day you can...let that take up all your efforts...and then when tomorrow rolls around...repeat that: all you have to do is get through today!

In the meantime learn to eat really healthy and concentrate on being kind to yourself. You'll find that things will get easier and you will start to find things interesting and fun again.

If those people are important to you, I think in a few weeks or months, when you are feeling a bit more solid with your decision, you'll be able to be around them. You'll notice how boring it is to be around people as they slowly drink more and more and become less and less interesting -- at first, I would get really bored at dinner parties as everyone around me sank into inebriation...but then I started regarding it as an exercise in observing another culture -- like I was an antropologist dropped into another tribe, observing their behavior and conversation. I know it sounRAB weird, but it really was helpful and gave me something to do while everyone else gradually slipped over the edge and got more and more boring and incoherent!

It's easier as you get older to hang around frienRAB and family that drink. You just say with some authority that you've chosen to pursue a healthier lifestyle. Don't say it in a judgmental way and don't become defensive -- just make one, matter-of-fact statement and change the topic. Really when you think about it, it is no-one's business but your own. You're not asking them to NOT drink...you're just making the decision for yourself. Lots of people do not drink these days -- they're watching their weight, or they want a healthier lifestyle.

You can still go to bars and parties and have a good time with your frienRAB. Order a clear liquid and no one will notice you're not drinking. If you still like these people, you can participate in the conversation, dance, play pool, whatever it is you like to do without alcohol.

Hang in there. You can do this.

xx M:wave:M

Oh, one more thing. Your body is craving carbs as it is used to getting lots from the wine you were drinking. Do not replace the wine with ice cream!! You can buy a supplement called L-Carnitine that helps with thse cravings -- but as usual, "check with your medical advisors before taking any supplement."

Hi Gemy....i think that drinking is the symptom but not the problem. When you decide to give up drinking, it does help to go to AA meetings and it also helps to see a therapist to understand why you drank in the first place. I think you should go to a bar with all of your family and drinking frienRAB and just order a virgin margarita, non alcoholic beer and be done with it. I would
blend with the rest and if they ask, tell them you have decided
not to drink and that is that. They will back off....trust me or
you need to find new frienRAB. Be proud of where you are and
there is a whole world out there ...make yourself find it....life is
not boring, only people are....karen

Gemy,

I understand how hard it is to replace the time spent drinking with other activities, but please give yourself time to find other pleasures. If you need to just rent movies, take naps, call people on the phone, read the newspaper, take long showers... ANYTHING, but drink. Take the time for yourself. Little things matter alot. What you are doing will give you a new life in time, that you otherwise couldn't imagine.

I am currently watching a dear friend die from alcholism. It isn't anything I would ever hope to see again, it is so painful for him. He is blown up so tight that I think he's going to burst like a balloon, yellow as brown mustard from jaundice, unable to wear clothes or shoes, and still drinking. Please dont go down this road, it is a long, dark, lonely dead end.

Take care, and be strong!