I just don't get it. I am an African American who dosent use the word myself, but it irritates me more when some white people call blacks hypocritical and racists for telling them not to use it.

Here is an example of how I see it. Two best friends who are overweight go on a diet plan or something. They jokingly call each other fat. Would it be appropriate for someone that they aren't close to to call them fat?