no sex in marriage, what should be done?

[xzavier]

ok, me and my wife have been married for almost 6 years. the first 3 were great, then soon after she had our son the sex went down hill. she isn't as adventurous or willing anymore. she used to go down on me, but now more. i always go down for her, seeing she loves it and i do to. and we only have sex in 2 different positions with no making out any more or anything.
basically it has been this way for about 4 years. I think i have done everything i can and would like to have her more then once a month, if i am lucky! no joke. what should i do?
oh and she does have anxiety issues and started Lexapro about a week ago. anything you have on this would be greatly appreciated,
we have talked and opened paths of communication. she just doesn't seem like she is into this any longer. she won;t do concealing, cause of the costs, and every time i bring up the making out or oral play or anything else she just says sure and acts uninterested

[buffalo alice]

You need to talk to her, non-judgmentally. Tell her you'd like to try some other positions, and then have ideas. You should try to mention you'd like to bring oral foreplay (yours) and making out back. Ask her what she's feeling about the issue. Maybe even just ask her if she'd give it a try. Open a dialog.

Good luck!

[blondie]

you have a difficult question to ansewer with everything you have stated you never mentioned you talking to her recentlly maybe with hold from her what she likes til things change tell her your not giving her the things she likes til you get what you want or get her willing to do something in the next month you get some and stick it in then say i cant do this this isnt right and get up and go watch tv and tell her why you wont do anything because she wont give it up try that for about 2 or 3 months

[MomofThree]

Lexapro can make sex lies worst. Alls I can say is communicate with your wife!

[Complicated]

Go to counseling, and make it very clear that this cannot continue for you to be happy and fulfilled in your marriage. If it is a dealbreaker for you, say so. A satisfying long term sex life doesn't just happen. Both parties have to be enthusiastic, and open minded participants. She must be willing to address, and change this aspect of your relationship for this to work.

Don't ignore it, or you may find resentment building up, and that is often the kiss of death. Although she may not initially love that you are forcing this issue onto the table, remind her that you are focused on making your marriage better, which is something she could choose to appreciate.

Good luck to you!

[sweetmama]

I think you should take her to a neutral location- but out of your house ( park or something?) where you can talk to her with no distractions. Tell her you need to have a serious , calm talk about the state of your marriage. Tell her you are not having your needs met and that you are falling into an unhappy state. Would she be willing to go to a marriage councelor? Make a Sex date once a week or more. Tell her she is the one you want to be with, but you need to shake up your marriage before it is too late-- she is taking you for granted and it is getting boring and frustrating for you and you don't want to leave or find someone to take care of you in that way-- you need her to make an effort. Should work... she is just busy and thinks your a done deal-- remind her that marriage is a choice, no one HAS to be with someone else.. you can be with someone else or alone.

[sweetmama]

I think you should take her to a neutral location- but out of your house ( park or something?) where you can talk to her with no distractions. Tell her you need to have a serious , calm talk about the state of your marriage. Tell her you are not having your needs met and that you are falling into an unhappy state. Would she be willing to go to a marriage councelor? Make a Sex date once a week or more. Tell her she is the one you want to be with, but you need to shake up your marriage before it is too late-- she is taking you for granted and it is getting boring and frustrating for you and you don't want to leave or find someone to take care of you in that way-- you need her to make an effort. Should work... she is just busy and thinks your a done deal-- remind her that marriage is a choice, no one HAS to be with someone else.. you can be with someone else or alone.