I don't know wtf is wrong with me but I just make an idiot of myself. All the time. And in college, there will be some dance that I might have to go to and I SUCK at dancing. I don't know how, first of all. I had no friends in high school, or all the friends I had were fake and not really my friends. Most people didn't like me so I never went to any high school dances. I went to one 8th grade dance and then all the girls just kind of bobbed up and down, maybe a few girls actually knew how to dance, and the guys just stood around.

You're probably going to say just practice... but I think I have NO ability WHATSOEVER. I'm not kidding. I had to go through the humiliation of watching this video in 7th grade of a whole grade field trip when they made us do this dance. After a while, everyone caught on and I was just STUPID and CLUTZY and hideous and I was the only f***ing retard that looked bad.
... I don't really want to learn how or try because then I might find out that yes, I really am that bad and terrible. It wouldn't bother me that much except I hate myself for so many other reasons. I hate my personality because I'm just boring and nervous and every bad thing you can think of. My whole entire life, no one has really liked me. They'd all rather be with someone else and no one wants me there.

And it's so stupid because dancing is just supposed to be fun, right? No big deal? Yeahh... I might as well be dead.