We have exceedingly competent News -readers working for the BBC. But is something wrong?

[Oswald W]

How is it that there are so few English News-Readers ? Don't they qualify or like the Job?

[The Intelligentest]

I think it is outrageous. I applied to be a weather girl at my local BBC station in Balls-Upon-Tilly and found out a few things. For example did you know newsreaders read the same story again and again? And that they watched the telly all day, with nothing more than a packet of Jaffa cakes to keep them company? I also found out:

The same stories were mentioned on the hour every hour.

The stories were presented using the same words.

The newsreader would often be the same.

Sometimes, a news report would be pre-recorded. This became apparent after watching for several hours, when lighting conditions in the news report remained unchanged.

To make matters worse, it was found that after each News Broadcast, there would be something called the Weather Report, during which a pretty blond would stand in front of a map of the country and repeat what she said one hour ago, too. However, this would be wrapped up in complex Weather Girl jargon like: Air pressure, Cyclonic, Rain.

So obviously they gave the job to a pretty blond girl! The b******s!!