I have not seen my long time partner for almost 4 months now. We were separated by a restraining order. I am trying to deal with the separation and it has caused me so much stress, loneliness and anxiety to the point that I woke up one night, and thought I saw him in my room.

I wake up 3 times at night for months now, and I never got a chance to say to him what really caused our separation- family interferring in our lives and me being coerced.

I miss him very much, and has caused me so much pain, but really who really cares? This case should have been in family/marriage counselling, not in courts.

I have no idea where he is, he is suffering from alcohol dependence, and has tendency for suicide.
Although I have decided not to live with him anymore, I still would want to be able to talk to him, and explain my side of the story.

I am suffering mentally and physically, feeling guilty, that I could have done more to help him with this disease....I have no interest in life and believe I am suffering from depression...