Thread: what do you think of this poem? (please be nice)?

i look at the sun and i look at the stars,
i stare for hours and wonder where you are
i stare at the sun and lose my sights in the clouds
and there you are, oh what a pretty face.
man i just wish u can be with me in this place
we can take each other to a different much better place
but again i start to look at the moon & stars, & asking myself where u r
i see the sun, i see the clouds, but those clouds float away and the sun goes down.
forever searching, never knowing, how you can be found.
at night i lie in my bed wide awake
wondering if you ever really feel the same.
but as time goes by, i drift away...fast asleep, dreaming of you
why cant it be, together me and you.


its my first poem. do you like it? please be nice though. thx

i love it!!!!

well done!!!!

xoxo

It is a really good poem congrats keep up the good work!

for a first poem absolutley. and i believe my opinion is somewhat valid. im a published poet and a singer/songwriter. always desire to improve your craft. i see that its emotionally charged but if this is something you really like to do you must go beyond emotion and transend though. it comes with practice. its better than when is started years ago with roses are red and violets are blue. lol. keep at it.

i loved it, well done

yes! i think its original

i like the way its written

good work

yeah! i love it. Good job, pretty fukin awesome job for your first time!

I love it ... !!!
Very nice..

wow! itz awsum

Is a wonderful poem.
It's soooo beautiful and its one of those poems that dont really make sense unless you think abt it...and you arent supposed to really think abt poems, just enjoy them.
Which i did.

Answer MY question?
http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Akc3MFHC2Ztf3NcBFnbNzUHg5gt.;_ylv=3?qid =20090110043250AAxfnWz