Thread: 9 yr old daughter with anxiety--LONG story

My daughter has always had a little anxiety over things, but it recently has escalated. There was always the first day of school jitters, then in 1st grade one of her "frienRAB" was mean to her on the bus and at school. I told Jadyn not to hang out with this friend anymore.

In 2nd grade she did not like the teacher at all and was constantly complaining of stomach aches and fake illnesses to stay home from school. I had her to the doctor to see if it was lactose intolerance, IBS, and who knows what else, only to come to find out after 2nd grade was over that she did not like her teacher. I was really nervous about her going into 3rd grade because I wondered how she would do with that teacher, well 3rd grade went well until the end of the year. Then pretty soon it was calling from school with belly aches, or waking up with a headache, but if I kept her home she was fine after she was told she could stay home. Miraculous recovery!

In June of this year, she went to Vacation Bible School with my other children. She had the first day jitters, but stayed and enjoyed it. The second day after I dropped them off and got back home, she called and said she was sick. So I went and got her but she did finish out the week but she also refused to participate in the little program they were in at Church on Sunday.

During the summer she stays with my older daughter at home while I work 1/4 mile down the road at my parents business. You literally can see my office from the window of our house. Jadyn would call at least 10 times a day over the summer.

In July, Summer program started at school and since she needed the extra help with reading, I told her if she took the reading class that she could pick out a fun class to do too. So she picked Spanish. She had the first day jitters only it was worse this time, she was crying harder, and literally making herself sick. She would have to go to the bathroom and she would dry heave and have diahrea. She would get all worked up and be 15-20 minutes late everyday. The Spanish class was a 2 week class, the reading class was 4 weeks. So when her spanish class was finished I would take her in for her reading class and sit outside the door of her classroom until she was done. I didn't want to do that but after getting a call the first day I decided in order to get her to go I would have to do that.

So after that ordeal I thought maybe she was getting worse with the anxiety and thought about taking her to the doctor but never made the appt. She kept calling me 10 times a day or more while I was at work, if we ran to walmart and she stayed with her sister, she would call us at least once. The other night she spent the night at her grandparents house, which she had done many times before, and made it until 5am then I got a call from my mom saying she wanted to come home because she couldnt stop shivering. It was not cold out.

So now we are getting closer and closer to school starting and with each day I could tell she was getting more and more nervous. School started on Wed Sept 1, and on Tues Aug 31, I could see she was really nervous. Wed comes, she gets up good, eats breakfast, as soon as it was time to get dressed she got a bellyache. The bus came at 7:35, she missed it because she was on the toilet. She was hysterically crying, making herself sick, dry heaving, diahrea, the whole works. She kept saying "I can't do this, I'm not going, I don't want to!" She also said she wishes I was a 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th grade teacher so she didnt have to go to school or I could be her teacher and be with her all day. She wanted me to stay at school with her. Now she has been going to this same school since Kindergarten, she is now in 4th grade. When I asked her why she was so nervous she said "4th grade is the year before 5th grade and 5th grade is the year before middle school!"

This poor kid is already worried about middle school which is 2 years away. We get to school on the first day and she is so upset, and hanging onto me, saying she doesnt want to do this. I lost it and started crying while trying to explain to her teacher that Jadyn had anxiety and was really nervous. It took me until 8:20 to get her calmed down enough to actually go sit in class. She was fine the rest of the day, rode the bus home.

I called and made an appt to see a counselor about her anxiety. Day 2, was not as bad as day 1, I still could not get her to ride the bus to school. She was on the toilet when the bus came so I had to take her again. This time was not as bad but it ended with a foot stomp and a "FINE" from her as she went to her desk. Had another good day, rode the bus home.

We saw the therapist yesterday (9.2.10) and after spending an hour with her, she came to the conclusion that Jadyn has GAD, along with some social phobia and school phobia. Day 3(today) she missed the bus again because she was on the toilet. I took her to school where we found one of her frienRAB in the hallway and I said "you should go with her out to the playground" , Jadyn was calmed down by this point and proceeded to put her sweatshirt on, slowly and had to make sure it was just right, I think she was procrastinating. I told her bye and left. I am sure she is having another good day. It's just he initial going to school that makes her so anxious. She has already told me she is not going to be in any sports when she gets into middle school. She is so quiet in her class but really loud at home.

She is scared of dogs. Shows me alot of affection, but can also treat me like crap at times if she is irritable. There are other little things that she does or that happen that I am sure go along with her anxiety. I have to go see the therapist once a week for the next two weeks to talk about how to teach her to get through these thoughts and feelings, then Jadyn sees her the end of Septeraber. Just wanted to get that off my chest and see if there are other parents that have been through this and how treatment went for them. Thank you for listening! Kristi

First, I am not a parent by any means! However, I am a young adult dealing with lifelong anxiety my parents chose to ignore. I think it is great that you are seeking professional help for your daughter - I wish my parents did. The best advice I can give you is to not get mad or upset with your daughter when these things happen. I know it can get annoying and frustrating - but she really CAN'T help it! I got in trouble so much for being anxious when I was younger and it has been really detrimental. I wish you both the best of luck in treatment!

Kristi - My oldest daugther, who is 12, has obsessive compulsive disorder along with GAD. She has struggled with going to school since around 2nd grade. She is now in 6th grade. My heart goes out to you and your daughter. Anxiety can be so difficult to deal with, for both of you. You are doing the right thing by getting her help to learn how to deal with this. My daughter went to therapy 2 years ago, only to stop because her therapist was too booked to see her regularly but we are going to be starting therapy again hopefully this month. I just wanted you to know you aren't alone and anxiety is very common in children and it is also a very treatable condition. I wish you both the best of luck with everything! =)