I wrote both of these in about five minutes as answers to other people's questions. since then I've added titles and revised them slightly. let me know whether or not you find them funny, and please be as brutally honest as you would like.


this first one is something I wrote to ridicule the people who come on here and agree that every poem posted is a work of art.

"Do the Yahoo Circle Jerk!"

The circle jerk
Of yahoo poetry
Bemuses me.

Can't you see,
That misery
Loves company?

You losers
Often don't know simile
From cat's pee

And yet you sit in angsty pity
And complement one another's ditties
Instead of simply saying that it's shitty.

this one was written to a person asking a question about suicide poems

"Don't do it!"

Cutting isn't good to do
I swear it's really bad for you
You may be sad
But cheer up lad
And don't be so damn blue.

You'll find in life
That there'll be strife
But please just stay
Another day
And put away that knife.

No, cutting's not advisable,
And while your problems may seem sizeable,
This idea is bad
But don't be mad
As suicide is not revisable.