Thread: How do I deal with my bitchy (soon to be) sister-in-law?

You're just going to have to have lunch with her and seriously express your feelings in a calm manner, and let her know how it makes you feel when she acts that way to you and your son, and also let her know that you care and want the family to be closer. See where she's coming from. There is no justification for treating your son differently than the others, but maybe there are somethings she will tell you that might put things into perspective.

Good luck and remember, you can't fight negativity with more negativity. You have to be the bigger person.

You obviously can't depend on your fiancee to take matters into hand so, it's left up to you. Confront her and ask her what's going on. If she has something to say then she needs to start talking. Tell her that you love her brother and plan on marrying him and being part of the family but before that happens you want any unresolved issues to be resolved instead of spending the rest of your life bickering over silly shit. There's no sense in letting someone come between you and the happiness you and your son deserve with your new husband. Wishing you the best of luck and happiness.

To be honest, you have three options.
1) Be a total bitch back.
2) Tell her parents.
3) Kill her with kindness.
Personally, i dont like 1 + 2 because being a bitch back, they can get worse, and telling parents, they often dont believe cause they love their children.
So i usually TRY to kill them with kindness, ignore them when their bitchy, do nice things, offer them food or drinks. To start off with she may be worse cause of confusement, but usually after a while, they learn and get better.
You may get used to each other in time, and just cope with each other.

Show her you ARE the better person! When she slaps you ... turn the other cheek and let her slap you again! Then be nice to her! Show her that your love for your hubby means love for her. Treat all people as you wish to be traeted even if they are assholes to you! BTW it is much easier said then done, but it IS the right thing to do!

Ok here is the background info:

She heard some terrible rumors about me and treated me like shit for 2 years. My family was pissed off and called my fiancees family all snobs (to me, not to them) and I said I could certainly understand where they would get that impression (because I was personally treated like shit for 2 years for no legit reason). So his sister took that as me calling them all snobs, which no but again I can see how she arrived at that conclusion. She has continued to be mean to me despite the fact that we have gotten engaged. I was hoping that would change becuase she may realize how important I am to her brother, but it hasn't. I have a 5-year-old son from my high school boyfirend and he is not in the picture.

My current issue:
She gave my fiancee a calander for his birthday. It was a really nice one with great pictures. One day I was just looking though it and noticed she had written down all the important dates, how thoughtful! So I was looking at it some more and it had her bday, her husbands bday, their anniver, their daughters bday, my fiances parents bdays and anniver, the once a year family get together and my son (with my fiancees) bday.

...She didn't include my other son or me.

My fears and frustrations:
I'm really getting sick of her attitude towards me, it is completely uncalled for as I have done NOTHING to her. Furthermore I have always noticed that my other son wasn't her favorite person but he is a well behaved boy with perfect manners so she can't even say it's him, it's the fact that he's mine and not her brothers; but excluding him on the calander too was beyond wrong. I don't want my kids (either one) to be around someone that will clearly treat them differently and cause some VERY hurt feelings. I really don't want my son thinking that we all feel that way, that he is just left overs we have to have around. My fiancee doesn't notice these little things or makes excuses when they happen, I'm guessing he just doesn't want a confrontation but I can't deal with this anymore, now it's happening to my son too! When he gets in defensive mode for his sister I feel slapped in the face and when I bring any issue up we fight which again isn't fair becuase I wasn't the one starting these things.

I have tried my hardest to be nice to her; I knit but not on that advanced a level and she wanted a sweater for her daughter, not only did she not ask me herself like a grown up (she got her mom to) she didn't even say thanks, just that it looked good on her daughter which I'll take as a compliment. It was the most complicated thing I had made with a complicated lace pattern...that's just one of the things I've gone out of my way to do for her, when she can't even offer me common curtousy.

His family has a thing where they get together once a week and I find that is way too much given the way I'm (and now my son) are being treated.

I have no idea what to do, please give any advice you have. I don't want to fight with my fiancee about these things anymore but I can't ignore that behaviour....plz help

p.s. his parents are really sweet so I don't want to offend them at all.

smack the hell out of her...

You do not talk to your fiance's family when there is a conflict such as this. It is your fiance's job to resolve all conflicts between his family and you. Just as it is your job to resolve issues between your family and his. You talk to your family and he talks to his. Your fiance needs to realize that you are his family and you and your children come first. He should sit his sister down and have a NICE CALM talk with her. Let her know that he still loves her, but she needs to realize that you will be number one in his life and she needs to realize this and be nice to you. This is the only way to resolve this issue. Unfortunately, it is the one area that all new husbands and fiances find the hardest to understand. Good luck.

Sorry you have to deal with that! Just try to be the adult here. Try as hard as it is to just deal with it. There always seems to be an interesting in-law! Deal with her acid by giving her sugar - but don't bend over backwards for her (no more sweaters!). You know, don't be cold - just be nice enough back that you need to be. Don't let her think she's making you feel so awful. Write those dates down on the calendar that are important to your side of the family. Maybe she just didn't know the dates? Just see her when you have to, talk small talk when you have to. Maybe over time she'll get over herself.

one thing, don't call her mean names. second just try to be nice to her, if she gives u problems email me back. i can help.

one thing, don't call her mean names. second just try to be nice to her, if she gives u problems email me back. i can help.