My mother in law wants to help plan my wedding. My mother in law says that me and...

03-22-2009, 01:08 PM

...her are so close. What to do? Once me and my now fiance got engaged. My future mother in law told me tell me when you get ready to plan ya'lls wedding so i can help you out.(Is what she said to me, and i replied okay i sure will) Then someone said through the grapevine that she said that she already has her dress that she is going to wear to the wedding already picked out and the wedding is 1 year and 1month away. I guess she is very excited. And she also told my Aunt that she is planning my wedding. And my Aunt got mad at my mother in law for saying that and told her off. Now should i have asked my mother in law if she wanted to help me plan this wedding? Cause i know one thing my mother is going to be there as well and i will tell my mother in law that in a nice sweet way which i have always respected her cause that is my fiances mother. She also loves me to and told my aunt that me and her are very close. Now i am going to plan out all the decorations for the reception hall. If she gives me some ideas about the reception hall i will politely say i like that but i have a vision on this. And just to make her feel in important i will let her help with the seating arrangements or getting the DJ and mailing the invitations. And final questions. What if my mother in law trys to override all my ideas. Hint she want cause this is me and her sons wedding and yes her son has a back bone i hope when it comes to telling his mother about the ideas that this our wedding. But i know everything will go fine. What most of you experienced about Mother in Laws planning a wedding tell me please thanks alot for reading.

03-22-2009, 01:09 PM

Elope. Run away and go somewhere romantic like Tahiti. Get married on the sandy white beaches and don't worry about planning with the soon to be mother in law.

My sisters mother (who is not my mother), wanted to include some african ritual in my sisters wedding and I told her I personally was not comfortable with it. My sister was too afraid to stand up to her mother, but I told her: Not happening. Her mother also called the bridal place and tried to get the dresses all altered...and both my sister and her mother ended up getting into a big fight and not speaking to each other a few weeks before the wedding.

So to answer your question, I wouldn't even deal with her or anyone else that wants to plan (control) your wedding. But look up Tahiti, I'm telling you girl! I would be there right now if I could.

03-22-2009, 01:09 PM

My future mother in law doesn't care for me really (she hates me, but the fiance insists otherwise) so I don't really have this problem. I think if your mother in law does try to override your ideas, just politely tell her that you really want to go with your ideas because it's really important to you to have it the way you want it. I'm sure she will understand. I think that it's a very good idea to make her feel like she is involved though and I think letting her help with the seating arrangements and mailing the invitations would be a good way to do that.

**samurai girl** · 03-22-2009, 01:10 PM

Dear Lord! I have a headache from your future MIL already - LOL!

You have answered your own question - be polite and do it your way, letting her do things that will help, like mailing invitations or suggestions for the seating arrangements. But this is the day for YOU and YOUR MAN. It's your vision and she needs to step back and enjoy being a guest.

Good for you!