Thread: Critique my other poem,please? It`s called The two

flies.? Ah....two flies,
twice flies fly,
fly away fly
and.........
fly away fly!
Fly, flies....
..........
........
........fly.
Thank you so much. Please don`t be cruel.. i have a mental age of 8.
punkie-waaaaa! how can you be sooooooo cruel!! i`m special you know!!
xunsurex-why thank you1 you obviously have the soul of a poet!! please put you own work on!!
jason k- i dont like you.....i dont like you at all!!
no1 sycophant- Atrue poetry lover ! Ah to finger someones soul! Such a rare pleasure...makes it all worthwhile!Just out of interest...you didnt attend art school did you?

its ok ,but a little more....thought?

it doesn't have much, substance. I like the structure, but its just, bland. It may mean something very important to you, but to others, its just about flying flies.

Twice as good as your last one.
Best stop now before you are swamped with more flies and before your mental age depreciates even further
Feel free to use any quotes.

This little poem about a fly
Would make it and its mate want to cry
The flys would feel an utter twit
Becaust this poems a load of S.......
(So maybe flies would love it after all)

Not that bad

So deep, i'm so touched so very very touched.

it is a masterpiece! lol it's like a little kids nursery rhyme

it is a masterpiece! lol it's like a little kids nursery rhyme